


Well That Just Won't Do - Book 3

by themadmage



Series: WTJWD-verse [9]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: (Heir Potter for now), (now), Asexual Character, Asexual Harry Potter, Asexual Severus Snape, Asexuality, Book 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, But Fudge is not within her sphere of influence, Canon Rewrite, Canon-Typical Violence, Dementors, Depression, Discussion of Medical Conditions, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Genderfluid Character, Ghost Lily Evans Potter, Good Regulus Black, Good Slytherins, Harry Potter is Not a Horcrux, Harry Potter is the Heir to the House of Black, Harry Potter was Raised by Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, Harry is Lord Potter, Heir of Slytherin Harry Potter, Let Kids Be Kids, Lily has adopted all of Harry's friends, Lily is not happy about the dementors, M/M, Mentor Severus Snape, Metamorphmagus Harry Potter, Nonbinary Character, Past Child Abuse, Ravenclaw Hermione Granger, Regulus Black Lives, Slytherin Ginny Weasley, Slytherin Harry Potter, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, at all, because the ministry isn't even looking for him, have i mentioned that the ministry are idiots?, primarily referring to Fudge there, they're idiots, we will address that now, what ever happened to wormtail?, why haven't we heard about his arrest?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-06-16 08:24:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 40,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15432942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themadmage/pseuds/themadmage
Summary: Lily Potter died to save her son in the ultimate act of love, then realized that it wasn't enough and attached her ghost to her son to raise and protect him from beyond the grave. She's protected him from everything she could, and helped him to get adults' support when he needs it. This year we explore Ministry Idiots, Pureblood Culture, Dark and Light magical theory, family, and dementors.--A series re-write following Harry through his years at school with the benefit of a loving mother with a fiery temper who is always by his side.





	1. Back with Black

Blackwood Hall was even more relaxing when Harry didn't have problems at school hanging over his head. The atmosphere was dark, but in a comfortable way rather than a gloomy one. It was Sunday when they arrived, and Harry had several things scheduled this week. Monday he had an appointment with his Healer at St. Mungo's to check his progress in the last year, Wednesday evening he and Sirius would be going to Grimmauld Place to dine with Regulus and the rest of the Black family, Thursday evening Lord Macmillian was coming to Blackwood for dinner, and Friday morning was Harry's weekly therapy appointment. With Sirius' permission, Harry invited his friends to spend the day together and stay for dinner on Saturday. The following Monday, his tutoring would begin.

 

Monday morning, Sirius had to go to the DMLE. He'd taken holiday the week of Harry's Easter break to spend the time with him, but that wouldn't be the case for summer. They ate breakfast together before Sirius left, since Harry was still a chronic early riser. Harry then took his textbooks to the library to work on summer assignments. He hoped to have them done before his tutoring started next week, so that he could focus on his lessons then. In the afternoon, Harry convinced Remus to take him to Diagon Alley. He wanted more stationary - he was almost out at term's end, and he wanted to make notes on what he learned from Slytherin's books as he combined that knowledge with his other tutoring. He would be able to ask Salazar's portrait questions when he was back at school, but for the summer he would essentially be self-studying the Heir's lessons for his third Lordship.

When Sirius came home from work, he was clearly frustrated. Over dinner, he told Harry and Remus why.

"The Ministry refuses to believe Peter is still alive, even though they believe I didn't kill the rat! And I  _told_  them that he's a rat animagus and could be hiding that way, but they don't think it's important."

Lily's face tightened at Sirius' mention of the man who betrayed her family. Remus gave Sirius a look that said both "I'm sorry", and "What did you expect?"

"The Ministry are idiots," Harry proclaimed. Sirius laughed, some of the tension easing. 

"I'm just going to have to find some way to prove that he's alive," said Sirius before taking a bite of his roast. "It's too bad we don't have a Map of the country like our old Map of Hogwarts."

Harry, having heard many times about the infamous Marauders' Map, chuckled. "That would be a dangerous map, if it were even readable. Imagine how big it would have to be to be able to properly read anything!"

Remus nodded his agreement, and the conversation moved on. 

 

Remus took Harry to St. Mungo's the next morning after breakfast, while Sirius was at work trying to convince his superiors that Peter Pettigrew was worth chasing. Harry sat in the waiting room nervously, but not showing it. It didn't matter. Remus could smell Harry's anxiety, and was tense because of his cub's discomfort. Finally, a Mediwizard called Harry back to see Healer Amari, and the two went into an exam room.

Healer Amari came in cheerfully. "Hello, Mr. Potter. How have you been since I've seen you last?"

Harry smiled at her, but his expression was tight. "I've been physically well.  Other things were difficult, but I'm sure you heard about the trouble at Hogwarts this year."

"Oh, yes. Dreadful. I'm very glad there was no permanent damage done." She paused. "I'm going to be running some of the same diagnostic charms I used on you a year ago. Only the more basic ones, of course, since I have no need to do a full medical history on you this time." Harry nodded, and Healer Amari began the spells. A quill and parchment on the nearby table automatically recorded the results. When she finished, she picked it up and hummed to herself. 

"Height is 143 centimeters, that's a growth of nine from last year. Still below normal ranges, but the gap is smaller. Weight is 30 kilograms. Slightly under the expectation for your height, but again closer than last year. Bone density is improved, but slightly below average as well. For all of these things, I'll keep you on the nutrient potion awhile longer yet." She hesitated slightly. "Mr. Potter, you may never be as tall as you would have been had you had a healthy childhood, and your bones may always be more susceptible to damage. With the continued use of the potions, however, I'm hopeful that you'll be able to recover most of the deficit. Your lung function has not changed since last year, as I expected. Like I said then, you'll need the potion for that ailment for life. My scans didn't detect any new injuries in the last year, and the broken wrist I noted last year is repaired. Do you have any medical concerns for me today?"

Harry shook his head no, but Remus pulled out a note that Sirius had left him. "Erm, about a year ago Sirius Black asked the Goblins to perform a blood adoption between himself and Mr. Potter. Sirius felt safe to do the ritual since he is healthy, but asked me to ask you to perform a check for any inherited ailments from the Black family."

"Certainly," Healer Amari agreed, and waved her wand in another diagnostic charm. "Have you noticed any inheritances from your adoptive family?" she asked Harry.

He nodded. "My magic feels different. I've been told that's because it's grayer. And I'm a Metamorphmagus now." Lily beamed proudly when her son told the Healer of his Gift.

Healer Amari smiled. "Have you had any difficulties?"

"Controlling the metamorph ability was hard at first, but my cousin Nymphadora Tonks is also a Metamorphmagus and she gave me some lessons. Other than that, no."

"Excellent. My scans don't show any inherited maladies, and I see nothing to be concerned about based on your blood. Are there any other concerns today?" Both Harry and Remus shook their heads no, this time. "Okay. You're due an eye exam and a booster vaccination before you leave, which a Mediwizard will do. I'll provide updated medical instructions to both your family and Madame Pomfrey at Hogwarts. Have a good year, Mr. Potter."

"Thank you, Healer Amari." She nodded and left the room.

"Is it normal to have your eyes checked every year?" Harry asked Remus when they were alone.

"Well, pup. I've never needed glasses, but once you do I think that's standard."

"Oh." Lily's expression tightened. Her son still didn't see the full extent of the mistreatment he'd faced from her sister after a year of therapy. She wasn't sure he ever would.

 

Remus took Harry to Diagon Alley after the Healer's appointment. They went first to the eyewear shop to have Harry's updated prescription - a small change - spelled into his glasses. Then, Remus took him to Fortescue's for ice cream. They chatted lightly while they ate, and laughed about how they should have just waited to get Harry's books and stationary today. At least, with apparation and floo the trip was no real trouble.

At dinner that night, Remus updated Sirius on Harry's progress. Sirius was relieved to know that Harry hadn't inherited anything bad from his family - not that he expected it, but he worried. Sirius told the others that he'd made no progress convincing his superiors about Peter. The grim determination on his face told Lily and Remus, who knew him well, that he was dangerously close to doing something stupid. When dinner ended, Remus followed his partner into his study to try to talk him out of it. Harry spent the evening in the massive bathtub in his suite. 

 

On Wednesday, Harry woke up excited to see Tonks at dinner that day. He was a bit nervous to meet her mother Andromeda, since she sounded very uptight, and to see the unfamiliar Regulus again, but he was also confident that he'd be safe with Sirius, Remus, and his mum all present. He also had his calming draughts if he needed them. 

The day passed slowly, in Harry's summer essays and time spent reading for his upcoming tutoring. Remus had shut himself in the library and asked not to be disturbed while he was close to a breakthrough, so Harry worked at the desk in his bedroom. The house elves sent lunch directly to him, essentially telling him that Remus hadn't come out yet and there was no need for him to go to the dining room to eat alone. Harry sighed and put down his quill.

While eating, Harry talked with his mum about the magical theory he'd been studying. Harry was especially glad to have his Mum around today. She kept him from being lonely. She had been a genius at Charms, and was very well-versed in their theory if not as comfortable with Transfiguration and Defense, and now that Harry was learning more of it they were able to have some very interesting conversations. 

"So, mages cast spells from the magic in our cores. This book refers to 'core strength' a lot. What does that mean?"

"Well, each person has a different capacity for storing magic. That's known as the strength of their magical core. So someone with a stronger core can cast more magic without becoming exhausted, either in number or power of spells. They can also learn new spells more easily. If a mage overdoes it, that can cause a condition called 'core strain'. A more profound version of core strain is 'magical exhaustion'."

"Are core strain and magical exhaustion dangerous?"

"Magical exhaustion is worse than core strain, and takes longer to recover from, but on their own in isolated incidents neither is too dangerous. The danger comes from repeated incidents, which can damage your magical core and weaken it, or from having to go without casting magic until your core replenishes if your situation is risky, like during the war."

Harry nodded in understanding and scratched a note into his book. "Strain and strength remind me of muscles. Can someone's core strength be improved with exercise?"

Lily hummed thoughtfully. "That's something that was being researched a lot when I died. The prevailing theory then was that each mage is born with a potential range for their core to fall within, and their eventual core strength is decided by factors like environment, magical exercise, and avoiding those magical injuries."

"Could my core be weaker because-" Harry hesitated. Lily knew what he was thinking, but wanted him to say it. Acknowledging that he was abused was a part of his healing, according to Healer Shabani. "Because I was abused?"

Lily gave Harry a sympathetic look. "It's possible. But I don't think you need to worry too much."

"Why not?"

"First, a mage's magical core is in flux until they come of age at seventeen. You've still got years to recover magically before your power levels become set. And second, you have no difficulty learning new spells. That suggests you have a decently powerful core even now."

Harry nodded, relieved. "Can magical strength be tested? Is there a charm that measures it or anything?"

"No one has developed a charm like that. Attempts in the past have ranged from ineffective to dangerous. To determine someone's core strength as accurately as possible, they are asked to perform a set series of magical feats until they begin to show signs of strain. The longer they are able to keep up the test, the stronger their core. Of course, since children need to avoid strain even more than adults, this test isn't available to underage mages. It isn't particularly popular for adults, either. Most are satisfied to know that they have enough magic to go about their daily lives in the wizarding world, which they know without testing by the time they graduate Hogwarts. And personal experience gives one a general idea of how strong their core is, too."

Harry nodded. That made sense. 

 

This was Harry's first trip to Grimmauld Place, and he could understand now what Sirius meant when he said that Blackwood Hall was less depressing. They came through the floo in the kitchen, which was set up with a small table where Regulus presumably ate while he was on his own. Up the stairs was a large dining room, less grand than the one at Blackwood but still far too large for a small gathering, a single sitting room, a library, and a room filled with decorative artifacts, all of which Harry was warned were dangerously Dark. The second and third floors were bedrooms, but there were far fewer guest rooms than at Blackwood. The curtains on all the windows were thick and black, blocking out most light and making the already somewhat small townhouse feel claustrophobic. The worst, however, were the heads. House elf heads on plaques lined the staircase going up, and Harry shuddered. Lily looked around with a fearful awe. Sirius' mood seemed to darken immediately upon seeing the portrait of his mother that sat in the entryway next to a hideous troll leg umbrella stand.

"Well, welcome to the seat of the Black family business and my childhood home," he said to Harry, Lily, and Remus as cheerfully as possible. Harry was still looking at him incredulously when the portrait of Walburga Black began to shriek.

"IS THAT SIRIUS? THE SHAME OF MY FLESH. DISOWNED FROM THE HOUSE OF MY FATHERS! LEAVE THIS PLACE!"

Sirius sighed heavily, and trudged over to the painting while she continued to shriek insults at him. Her screaming woke several other elderly portraits, who began shouting counterproductively about the noise. "You didn't disown me properly, Mother. Head of the Family and all!" Sirius shouted as he pulled curtains closed around her portrait. They appeared to be spelled with a silencing charm, because they cut off Walburga's screaming immediately. A few silencing charms hushed the rest of the portraits, while Harry and Lily watched with wide eyes. Remus only crossed his arms and waited amusedly, since he was used to this after accompanying Sirius here several times.

Regulus came down the stairs to greet them, summoned by their mother's voice. "Hello, Brother," he said sedately. This was not out of any particular mood, but rather a natural tendency for calmness.

Sirius grinned widely. "'Lo, Brother." He took a pocket watch from his robes and glanced at it. "Andy's family will be here any minute and need bringing through the wards."

Harry and Lily gave Sirius twin odd looks. "Why do they need bringing through the wards, when I didn't? They're Blacks, aren't they?"

"Well, technically they aren't," Regulus answered.

As the looks of confusion intensified Sirius added, "Mother never properly disowned me, because she was so mad, but Aunt Druella and Uncle Cygnus did disown Andromeda." He then made for the front door to wait outside for his guests.

"Sirius is formally welcoming Andromeda and her family back to the Black family tonight. He's wanted to do it since he got out of prison, but the whole family has to be present and you've been unavailable until now."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"There are no apologies necessary. You're still a child, you have no control over the situation. And Andy and her family have lived without the Black name for more than twenty years, another few months waiting on you was nothing." He paused. "How are you finding life at Blackwood Hall?"

"It's been good, sir," Harry said cautiously.

"No need to call me 'sir', Harry. We're family. You can call me Uncle Regulus, or just Regulus if you prefer."

Harry smiled. "Thank you," he paused for a moment to decide how he'd call this man. "Uncle Regulus."

Just then, Sirius came in with Tonks and an unfamiliar man and woman that Harry rightly assumed were her parents. "Harry, I'd like you to meet Cousin Andromeda and her husband Ted Tonks."

Harry smiled at them. "It's nice to meet you both." He then turned to face Tonks, and the two greeted each other by making the strangest faces they could using their metamorph abilities.

Andromeda gave her daughter a stern look, which she shrugged off saying "It's an exercise for him, Mum!" Sirius laughed, and Andromeda relaxed slightly. 

A wrinkled, old house elf who had definitely seen better days popped in just then. "Dinner is being served in the Dining Room, Masters," he said grumpily.

"That's Kreacher," Sirius told Harry under his breath as they walked into the large dining room. "A nasty old thing, he's always hated me. It's mutual." Harry kept his face carefully neutral. He saw the adoration that the old elf showed when he spoke to Regulus, and knew that winning Kreacher over was possible if not easy.

The seven diners sat clustered on one end of the dining table, which could seat twelve, with Sirius at the head and Harry to his right - the traditional places for the Lord and Heir of the family. Remus sat to Sirius' left, where the Lady of the family would sit if there was one. (Andromeda looked mildly scandalized, but held her tongue.) Regulus sat next to Remus, and across from him sat Tonks next to Harry. Next to them, Andromeda and Ted sat across from each other. Conversation was polite and shallow - it was not done to discuss anything with emotional weight while dining. The main course was a shepherd's pie, which was delicious, and was followed by a custard and coffee. Once they finished and retired to the sitting room Sirius spoke formally.

"Today, we have several formal Rites of Family to perform. The first is the Acknowledgement of the Heir. Those who are not currently magically recognized as members of the Black family need to remove themselves to the hallway for now. Harry, please kneel before me." Harry did, feeling slight apprehension, while Andromeda's family and Remus stepped out. These Rites were family secrets, and could not be spoken of, so Harry had no idea what was to come. "Draw your wand, and hold it out." Harry complied, wand lying flat across his hands. Sirius placed his hands on top of Harry's, his wand sandwiched between them. "I, Sirius Orion Black, Head of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black, do recognize you, Harry James Potter-Black, my son and rightful Heir in all capacities. I call the Family Magic now to recognize you. As I will it, may it be done." A soft glow encompassed both of them, and Harry felt a warm breeze rush over him. What by all rights should have been a tranquil feeling had a slight chaos to it which Harry recognized as the Black Madness. Instinctively, he accepted the Magic in all its benefits and flaws, and the scene returned to normal. Sirius helped Harry to stand, and pulled him into a hug. Regulus moved to allow the Andromeda back into the room.

Andromeda was smiling wistfully when she entered. "The Acknowledgement of the Heir is a beautiful Rite. I was present for Sirius'. It's a shame that the Heir must be recognized before the other Rites are performed, or I should have liked to be able to witness yours, Harry."

Harry smiled sadly at her, unsure of what to say. It turned out not to matter, as Sirius addressed her next.

"Andromeda. I asked you when I was released if you would consent to becoming a part of the Black family again, in magic and law, in order to help me change our family's reputation. I've always looked up to you as a role model, and believe you'd be an asset to the family as we move forward. Today, the entirety of the recognized Black family," he gestured to Regulus and Harry, "are present and ready to welcome you. Do you accept the Rite of Admittance today?"

Andromeda smiled, her eyes shining. "Yes."

Sirius smiled too, but it was a different smile than his usual exuberant grin. There was a pride and a determination to his face that Harry was surprised to see. "Harry on my right, Regulus on my left. Andromeda, kneel before me." Each mage took the positions Sirius had listed, and Andromeda drew her wand and held it out without prompting. Sirius laid his hands on hers like he had for Harry moments earlier. "Andromeda Vega Tonks, formerly Black, do you swear to do your duty as a member of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black, to uphold the House's reputation and seek to improve it, and to never bring shame onto the Family?"

Andromeda smiled, knowing that these same words spoken by Sirius had a different meaning than they had for generations - one she could faithfully swear to uphold. "I do swear it."

 

"I, Sirius Orion Black, Head of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black, do accept your Oath to the House and welcome you to the Family in all capacities. I call the Family Magic now to recognize you. As I will it, may it be done." The same glow and warm breeze now circled Andromeda, but it settled almost immediately as Andromeda welcomed the magic she had grown up with back to herself. Sirius helped her rise to her feet, and clasped her hands in his happily.

Next would be the Blessing of Unions for Ted, typically performed when a member of the House of Black married. Regulus moved to the door and brought Ted in. Andromeda took his hand, and they stood in front of Sirius as Regulus retook his place on Sirius' left.

This time, Andromeda spoke first. "Lord Black. I, Andromeda Vega Tonks nee Black, formally present to you my chosen husband Edward Christopher Tonks and ask humbly that the Family accepts our union."

"Edward Christopher Tonks," Sirius began, "do you swear to give Andromeda Vega Tonks nee Black the honor and respect owed a woman of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black?"

"I do swear it," replied Ted.

"And do you swear to do your duty as a member of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black, to uphold the House's reputation and seek to improve it, and to never bring shame onto the Family?"

"I do swear it."

"I, Sirius Orion Black, Head of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black, do accept your Oath to the House and welcome you to the Family. I call the Family Magic now to bless your union. As I will it, may it be done." This time, instead of the full body of the person being blessed, the glow centered around Ted and Andromeda's joined hands, and faded quickly. Ted was not absorbing any of the family magic, only being touched by it.

Next would be the Presentation of a Magical Child, typically performed when a child in the House of Black first showed signs of accidental magic. Regulus brought Tonks in, and she stood between her parents. Andromeda started the Rite again.

"Lord Black. I, Andromeda Vega Tonks nee Black, formally present to you my blooded offspring, Nymphadora Julienne Tonks, and ask humbly that she be acknowledged by the Family." To her credit, Tonks only grimaced slightly at her full name.

Sirius laid his hand on Tonks' shoulder, as her wand was not required for this Rite, and spoke. "I, Sirius Orion Black, Lord of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black, do acknowledge and accept Nymphadora Julienne Tonks. I call the Family magic now to recognize you. As I will it, may it be done." The now-familiar Black Family magic encompassed Tonks as it had Harry and Andromeda, and took to her in about the same amount of time as it had taken to Harry. Once it faded, she met Harry's eyes, and once again they each morphed their faces into caricatures. 

Regulus moved to bring Remus into the room while everyone sat down. Sirius fidgeted nervously as his partner came inside, and Regulus was the only one to know why. Sirius hoped to be performing one more Rite today, but it was to be a surprise for Remus. The werewolf instantly picked up on his partner's tension as he sat down next to him - it would have been obvious to someone who knew him so well even if it weren't for his enhanced sense of smell. "Pads?" he asked pseudo-casually.

Sirius licked his lip nervously, and looked him in the eye. Remus was almost shocked by the depth of emotion he could see on Sirius' face. "Remus," he started. "With all of these official Rites happening today, I wanted to do something for you too. Living together at Blackwood is fantastic, but I want something official. There's never going to be a better person for me than someone who managed to fall in love with me when I was a shitty sixteen year old, and still wanted to rebuild with me after I spent a decade in prison. I don't say it often, but I know you know I love you."

Remus' breath hitched slightly, and when he spoke it came out as a whisper, thick with emotion. "I love you too, Sirius."

Sirius took out a simple platinum ring, newly made for the occasion. On the inside of the band, a moon and a paw were engraved on either side of the Black family crest. The outside was plain. "Will you marry me?"

Remus was speechless, and could only nod as Sirius put the ring on his hand. Finally, he found his voice. "Not today, right?" 

Sirius' lip quirked in half a smile. "No, we'll plan something out. I do want to do a Family Rite for you today while everyone is here, though. I've spent weeks trying to find a Rite that will work for us. The Black family is a bit archaic, I'm sure you'll believe, and all of the Rites meant to be performed with a lover are specifically for men and women to perform together. I'm not giving you the Rite of Acceptance like I did for Andy, because that would make you family and I'm not my parents. The best I've been able to find is to make you a Vassal of the House. It's technically meant for providing protection to a weaker ally, but it doesn't give me any formal power over you and it entitles you to the full social, financial, and legal protection of the House and its assets. You'll have access to all but the most stringent family wards, and a place at Family Rites like today's. Will you consent to it?"

Everyone could see Remus' mind working as he considered what Sirius was asking him. They could have a marriage bond without this Rite, but that wouldn't give Remus a formal place in the House. He thought of Harry one day going through these Rites with his chosen family, and knew he'd want to be there. "I do."

Sirius broke out into a wide grin, and ordered everyone into places. Harry stood again to his right, Regulus to his left, and the Tonks family behind him. "Kneel here, Moony," he said, gesturing to the floor in front of him. Remus got to the floor awkwardly, his joints protesting as he did.

"Remus John Lupin, do you swear to do your duty as an ally of the House of Black, to uphold the reputation of the House and seek to improve it, and to never bring shame upon the House?"

"I do swear it," Remus replied when Andromeda mouthed the words to him. 

"Remus John Lupin, do you consent to become a vassal of the House of Black and accept the rights, responsibilities, and protections inherent in the position?"

"I do."

"I, Sirius Orion Black, Lord of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black, do accept your Oath to the House and welcome you as a vassal of the Blacks. I call the Family magic now to shield you. As I will it, may it be done." For the last time tonight, the Black family magic swirled through the room. It touched Remus, but did not absorb into him the way it did for those fully joining the family. Once it faded, Sirius helped his partner to his feet and pulled him into an embrace. 

Everyone sat down again, and absorbed the new atmosphere around them. After performing so many Family Rites in such little time, emotions were running high and Sirius was exhausted.  Before long, everyone save for Regulus was ready to make their ways home for the evening.

"I'll see you next Monday for tutoring, Harry."

Harry smiled at the reminder. "Thank you, Uncle Regulus. I appreciate that you're taking the time to do this for me."

"Nonsense," Regulus insisted. "You are family, and I am a man of leisure with no other commitments. It's no trouble at all."

Harry smiled again, and bid his uncle goodbye before flooing home to Blackwood.

 

On Thursday, Harry finished the last of his summer essays. He then held the pages while his Mum read them over and suggested edits he could make. When Sirius came home from the DMLE that day, he brought Harry a new set of formal robes to wear to dinner with the Macmillians that night. They were fairly plain, which Harry was glad to see. Sirius did stay to help him with tying off some of the fastenings on the robes properly. Once he was dressed, Harry morphed his hair until it laid neatly on his head, and went to the receiving room to wait for the Macmillians with his family. Fifteen minutes before dinner was to be served, the floo came to life and the Lord and Lady Macmillian and Ernie Macmillian, their Heir and Harry's yearmate at Hogwarts, all exited in quick succession. 

Sirius welcomed the Macmillians to Blackwood Hall formally with a practiced grace. Harry attempted to imitate him, but his efforts were stilted at best. Lord Macmillian gave him a searching look, and Harry had to resist the urge to shrink into himself and hide away from the man's gaze. The guests were escorted to the formal dining room, where the table had been resized to comfortably seat just six occupants without losing the impressive setting. Dinner was quiet, but the food was lovely. Afterwards, Lord Macmillian accompanied Harry and Sirius to Sirius' favored sitting room while Remus took the other guests on a tour of the Manor, which would end in the library, to keep them occupied while business was discussed.

A house elf brought firewhiskeys for Sirius and Lord Macmillian and tea for Harry. Lord Macmillian began without preamble.

"Lord Black, I understand you would like for me to tutor your Heir in the ways of Light families for the sake of the Potter line?"

"Yes, Lord Macmillian. It is vital for his future that he is educated in the varying traditions of the lines he will represent. I am prepared to compensate your family for your time, of course."

Lord Macmillian nodded. "I am sure we can come to an accord about fair compensation at a later time. How much tutoring has Mr. Potter had to date?"

"None at all," replied Sirius. He was careful to keep his tone matter-of-fact as he spoke, but it didn't stop Macmillian's eyebrows from raising.

"How has this come to pass? Surely your guardians haven't neglected their duties so severely."

Sirius looked to Harry, clearly intending to leave it up to him what to share. Harry cleared his throat quietly before speaking up to ensure his voice wouldn't crack. "Until I started at Hogwarts, sir, I lived with my muggle relatives on my mother's side. They had no means to tutor me, and since beginning school this is the first permanent home I have had where arrangements could be made."

Lord Macmillian looked like he wanted to question Harry further, so Sirius cut in. "The Potters of course left detailed notes and instructions for their Heirs, as is common in wartime, which will be used to supplement Harry's tutoring with you. You will be privileged with access to those notes that do not contain Family secrets. While learning from you, Harry will simultaneously receive the Black Heir tutoring and tutoring in Magical Theory. My hope is that you will consent to meet with my Heir twice weekly to begin, and the schedule can be adjusted as necessary."

Harry fought not to sag in relief when he saw Lord Macmillian put his curiosity away for the moment. "Twice weekly will do. Your Heir shall attend tutoring at my family manor. The floo address is Mooncalf Court, Essex. He may be accompanied by a chaperone." The Lord glanced at Lily. "By which I mean I will set the wards to allow two _living_ people entry at the agreed upon times."

Sirius nodded, satisfied. "Does Monday and Wednesday afternoons suit you, Lord Macmillian?"

"It does. Two p.m.?"

Sirius nodded, and shook hands with the other man. "Shall we go to the library and attend to your wife and son, Lord Macmillian?"

"Certainly, Lord Black." Lord Macmillian rose from his seat and offered a hand to Harry, who had also risen, to shake. "I look forward to seeing you Monday afternoon, Mr. Potter. Good night."

"Good night, sir."

The two Lords exited towards the library, and Harry retired upstairs to his room where he took a bath and went to bed.

 

Harry was glad to be seeing Healer Shabani for his weekly therapy appointment on Friday morning. After spending two evenings in a row suddenly immersed in an unfamiliar culture, even one that he was eager to learn about and join more fully, the familiarity of the Mind Healer's office was a blessing.

"Good morning, Harry."

"Good morning, Agim," Harry said brightly.

"How has your first week of summer treated you?"

"I've been well. Dinners with the full Black family and with the Macmillians were a bit overwhelming, but my tutoring is all arranged for the summer and I look forward to starting that next week."

"Excellent. Now, Harry. It's been almost exactly a year since you started seeing me. How do you feel about your progress so far?"

"I feel good about it most of the time. I can usually keep calm in situations that would have made me panic a year ago, and I've gotten better about standing up for myself and what I need."

"Good, very good. How frequently have you been taking the Calming Draughts recently?"

"Most days, I only take two of mine. Sometimes I take a third, if it's been a particularly bad day."

Healer Shabani nodded. "I think it's time we reduce your prescription to two daily, then. If it becomes a problem we can always change it again, but I think you're ready for the reduction."

Harry nodded, and they moved on to talking about healthy relationships between a child and a guardian. It was something they'd talked about briefly while Harry stayed with Professor Snape last year, but now that Harry had a permanent guardian Healer Shabani wanted to make sure Harry could recognize healthy and unhealthy behaviors at home. After Harry's appointment he took his broom outside to fly around Blackwood's gardens for awhile, then studied more from his magical theory text.

 

Harry went to bed happy that night. The week had flown by but Harry had finished his summer assignments, done some independent study, and he was looking forward to showing Blackwood Hall to his friends the next day. Life was good.


	2. Harry's Friends at Blackwood Hall

Sirius waited with Harry in the receiving room the next morning for his friends to arrive. Theo and Lord Nott were the first to arrive. Lord Nott said something that Harry wasn't entirely paying attention to, formally leaving the care of his Heir in Sirius' hands, before flooing home again. Theo remained solemn and quiet until his father was gone, then explained that it was a common practice among traditionally Noble families so that if something happened to one's Heir while in another Lord's care the family would have magical grounds to take action. Harry was saved from having to respond by the arrival of Blaise and their Mother, who spoke with Sirius without any formal structure but seemed to intimidate Sirius more than Lord Nott's warning. Daphne was last to arrive, with her father fifteen minutes before eleven, and she joined the group with a calm smile. 

 

Harry started by giving his friends a tour of Blackwood Hall. All of them were suitably impressed for young Purebloods in another old family manor. Theo was particularly interested in the library, while Blaise and Daphne enjoyed the gardens.  By the time they finished the tour, Tippy had come to summon the group to lunch. They ate in the family dining room, Sirius insisting that he couldn't stand two meals in the same day in the formal one and that dinner was the more formal meal. It made enough sense to the kids, so no one pressed the issue.

After lunch, they found themselves in the sitting room of his suite. He'd hesitated to invite the group there, since it was sort of his bedroom, but Blaise pointed out that both they and Daphne were in the boys' dorm constantly at school, Harry had been in their bedroom at school daily since they'd moved into it, and the sitting room wasn't meant to be used alone. Harry found himself hard-pressed to argue, and ushered them in.

"It's been a long week," Harry said. "I feel like I haven't seen you all in ages," Blaise said.

That was an invitation to ask if there ever was one. Daphne bit. "What was so long about it?"

"Mother is engaged to be married again, and I've been caught up in wedding preparations," they said with an eye roll. 

"Why haven't I heard anything about the event?" Daphne asked. 

Blaise gave a conspiratorial smirk. "She's marrying a Muggle." Even Harry's eyes widened at the revelation. "She won't be announcing it in the Wizarding World at all," Unsaid was the suggestion that when she killed him, a simple Avada would be dismissed by muggle doctors as natural organ failure and Aurors wouldn't know to investigate. Once their dramatic news had time to settle, Blaise spoke again. "I've also started seeing a Healer to transition. I have to see both a Mind Healer and a regular one, but they are able to provide me with potions to slowly change my body to something I'll be more comfortable with. I started with them yesterday, and have to take them daily."

Harry smiled. "That's great, Blaise. When we get back to Hogwarts, you and I will be able to walk to the hospital wing together in the mornings." Everyone laughed at Harry's tone. "I'll be starting my tutoring on Monday," Harry offered. "I'll be meeting with Lord Macmillian on Mondays and Wednesdays, Uncle Regulus on Mondays and Tuesdays, and my Magical Theory tutor on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Then on Fridays I'll be studying Slytherin's books."

Theo looked at Harry with wide eyes. "Your summer is just school!"

Harry chuckled. "I'll be taking nine courses in the fall on top of all of this."

"Merlin, Harry." Daphne said.

"I think this is why all of you learned these things  _before_ Hogwarts."

The others agreed, and Daphne began telling them about her sister Astoria's preparation for attending Hogwarts this fall. "She turned eleven just before school let out, and has got her own wand now. Of course, she's been practicing with family wands for years, but now that she's got a properly matched one she's so smug. I can't have been that bad when I turned eleven."

"You were," said Theo tiredly. 

Daphne shot him a half-hearted glare before continuing her rant, while Harry was still reeling that the Greengrasses had begun practicing magic before attending Hogwarts. Finally, he couldn't restrain his curiosity anymore. "What about the Trace? I got a letter last year threatening expulsion over a misplaced house elf!"

His friends each gave him their own odd looks. "The Trace doesn't work in old wizarding homes. The wards are too powerful," Daphne said.

"But a house elf shouldn't have triggered anything last year, either. Especially since you were staying with an adult wizard." Theo added.

"Was Professor Snape doing magic at the same time? The ministry would know that only one adult wizard lived in that house, and that there were no house elves on staff." Blaise asked Harry. 

Harry nodded, Snape had been brewing, and then- "Why has no one told me how the Trace works until now? Could I use my wand here?"

All of Harry's friends nodded. He looked at them suspiciously, so Daphne took hers out and levitated a book that Harry had left on the table. Harry waited tensely, but no ministry owl arrived to chastise them. Harry narrowed his eyes more suspiciously, but this time it wasn't directed at any of his friends. "Sirius definitely knew this. There's no way that he didn't."

Theo nodded. "How are you going to get revenge?"

Harry smirked. "No one tell him I know. I'm going to prank him mercilessly, and he'll never know it was me if he thinks I don't know I can do magic here."

"You really are a Slytherin. I'll admit that sometimes I have my doubts," Daphne said, clearly impressed.

 

At dinner, Harry kept his wand under the table and cast softening charms on Sirius' food while his friends provided distractions. Satisfied for the moment at Sirius' confusion as to why his whole dinner kept going not-quite-soggy, Harry vowed to spend some time in the library learning more advanced pranking spells. If he only had the first and second year curriculum to draw on, Sirius would likely figure out the culprit too quickly.

Daphne's family expected her home immediately after dinner, but Blaise and Theo had been given leave to spend the night at Blackwood. They all went flying until it became too dark to see, then went to the library. Most of the books the Black family owned were a bit malicious for Harry's purposes, but his friends were able to sift through them with ease after having years of practice in their family's similarly Dark libraries. Harry was levitating one book off the shelf when the door opened. The three Slytherins were momentarily disappointed at being caught out in Harry's pranks so quickly, but only Remus entered.

He gave Harry a shrewd look. "Underage magic outside of school is illegal, you know."

Harry met his look blandly. "It's also untraceable here, and Sirius wasn't going to tell me. Neither were you, I suppose, but I can give you the benefit of the doubt in this."

Remus raised one eyebrow at Harry's answer. " _Spongify_ at dinner? Really, Harry."

This brought a slight blush to Harry's cheeks, even as he lifted his chin slightly in defiance. "I'm learning better spells as we speak."

Remus smirked and took a book out of his pocket, which must be magically expanded inside, and placed it on top of Harry's stack.  _Basic Hexes for the Busy and Vexed_. He then turned to leave and said over his shoulder, "I saw nothing."

Lily saw the baffled looks on Blaise and Theo's faces. "They called themselves the Marauders in school, their little group of four. I didn't know until we graduated that Remus was the quiet mastermind behind most of their pranks."

 

Blaise and Theo were each given their own guest suite on the third floor. The three stayed up too late studying jinxes and hexes. Blaise was the first to retire, since they didn't have insomnia or nightmares like Harry and Theo did. Once the boys were alone, Harry turned to Theo.

"How have you been this week?" The question was vague enough that Theo could avoid talking about his father if he wanted to, but Harry's meaningful tone clearly stated what he meant. 

"I've been alright. Father has been busy, so he's been out of the manor most of the time and I've been able to stay out of his way. Besides, his- harsh teaching methods- made my etiquette lessons very memorable. I'm very proficient at keeping him pleased enough with me."

Harry smiled sympathetically. "That's good. It's just that I know sometimes it doesn't matter if you keep them happy," Harry responded, clearly thinking about the Dursleys. "If you ever need an escape for awhile, owl me and I'll invite you over any time. Sirius won't mind, even if we don't tell him why."

Theo looked gratefully at Harry, his silence conveying more than he could have said out loud.

Lily could see the tension drain out of the boy she had developed highly maternal feelings for. She'd stayed on earth to parent, after all. No one said she couldn't help more than one lonely child. She floated closer to Theo, but avoided touching him. Harry's positive response to her chill was unusual, and conditioned after an entire childhood connecting that cold with love and comfort. "You're strong, Theo," she said to him. "I wish it wasn't necessary for you to be that way, but I'm glad that you are. And you'll always be able to lean on the both of us, too. You don't have to be strong alone."

Theo seemed to think at that point that the focus had been on his own troubles for too long. "How have you been, Harry? Are you adjusting well to living here?"

"Fairly well," Harry said while giving Theo a knowing look. Still, he would let his friend shift the discomfort. "I get nervous still, but Healer Shabani says that's normal for someone with my past in a new situation. It's easier than living with Professor Snape last summer, since I know Sirius and Remus more personally and they're gentler people."

"I'm glad."

"Speaking of Healer Shabani. He wants me to start being more open about what happened to me. Well, he's wanted me to be more open for awhile but I've been avoiding it."

"Who does he want you to tell? Our friends already know, don't they?"

"They know that things weren't good, yes, but they don't know any of the details. I've only ever told you, Professor Snape, and Remus outside of a medical setting. I think I mentioned it casually to Hermione once, but I didn't say much. Mum told Dumbledore, and Remus told Sirius."

"Oh," was Theo's only response. 

"So I think I'm going to tell Blaise and Daphne next. Sirius has already heard the story from someone, so telling him would feel odd. And if the story ever becomes public, I don't want our friends to feel like they were the last to know."

Theo nodded. "When?"

"Well, I suppose I'll have to see you all again sometime this summer. I don't want to do it on my birthday, but there's a whole summer besides that to get together."

The thought of visiting Blackwood again, or including Harry in a visit to the Greengrasses (never to his home, and not to the Zabini's while Madame Zabini was secretly courting a muggle) made Theo smile. He cast a  _tempus_ charm, which showed it had gone two in the morning. "We ought to get to bed if we're going to manage any sleep tonight. Good night, Harry. Good night, Mrs. Potter."

"Night, Theo!" Harry said as his friend left the room. He turned to his mum. "Has he ever actually spoken directly to you before?"

"I don't think so," she said, "or I would have told him to call me Lily." Maybe Theo was starting to see her as a source of support. Lily smiled at the thought. "Now, to bed young man."

"Yes, Mum."

 

Theo and Blaise left the next morning, after Harry spent all of breakfast turning Sirius' clothes Hufflepuff yellow. Green would have been too obviously Slytherin, painted Harry too easily as the culprit, and Gryffindor colors wouldn't have vexed his Godfather at all. It had been a tossup between Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, so Harry had decided based on what would look worse with Sirius' coloring.


	3. Tutoring

Monday morning Harry ate breakfast with Sirius and Remus before flooing alone to Grimmauld Place. His tutor was waiting by the floo when Harry arrived, ten minutes before nine.

"Good morning, Uncle Regulus," Harry said.

Regulus smiled. "Good morning Harry. How are you today?"

"I'm well, thank you."

Regulus raised an eyebrow. "I'm glad you are capable of speaking formally, but it is very unnatural for you. We will practice etiquette during our meal. Until then, feel free to speak normally."

Harry grinned. "Okay, Uncle Regulus."

Regulus led Harry to the same sitting room where they'd performed the Family Rites last Wednesday and sat in a chair, gesturing for Harry to do the same. "This is a bit unconventional, since you are not seven years old. Seven is when the Black family traditionally begins an Heir's training, as it is a magically powerful number and this family loves nothing more than power. Since we are doing things unconventionally, I'll start by asking if you have any questions."

"I do, actually," Harry said despite his thought that Regulus hadn't actually asked, only said that he would. "Why did the Family Rites have to be done with everyone present when Sirius was the only one who actually had to do anything?"

"That is a good question. The Family magic tested each of us to see that the family generally agreed with the Rite being performed. If anyone had objected, Sirius' opinion would have mattered most as the Head of the family, then yours as the Heir, and then everyone else present. If the general opinion of the family is against the Rite, it will fail. That's actually how Sirius was never disowned. As much of a sore point Sirius was in this family, most of us didn't want him to go."

Harry nodded thoughtfully. "Did you?"

Regulus blinked. He seemed surprised by the question, but not averse to answering it. "No. He's my brother."

"Another question about Wednesday. Was that really the whole family? Andromeda has sisters, doesn't she?"

"Yes. You will need to study the family charter during your tutoring, it covers this sort of thing. Bellatrix, the elder of the missing sisters, was actually disowned from the family. Ironic, since Mother and Father liked her better than Sirius. Blacks may commit crimes, but it's done subtly. If caught, blame is shifted or evaded. Therefore, if convicted of a crime carrying a prison sentence, a person is automatically disowned from the family. The Head of the family can, of course, choose to welcome them back when they are released using the same Rite we gave to Andromeda if they feel the person has not brought shame to the family after all. Narcissa, the younger of the missing sisters, married into the Malfoy family. When a woman marries into another family, that becomes her primary allegiance. She isn't banned from Family Rites or other secrets like she would be if she were disowned, but her presence isn't required. Given that the family she bears a primary allegiance to fought on the other side of the war, we decided it was prudent not to invite her."

"Yes, that makes sense. Her son is my year at school."

"How do you fare with Heir Malfoy?"

"At first things were tense. Then we managed an uneasy truce through- a shared secret. Now we mostly ignore each other. He has his group of friends, and I have mine, and aside from the fact that Blaise and Theo were tutored with him before Hogwarts the groups don't often mix."

"Factions. Interesting, indeed." Regulus seemed to contemplate for a moment before realizing he was off topic. "Alright then, if that's all the questions you have we will start with the family charter. It begins with the core of the Family - our Family Magic. You felt that on Wednesday. What did it feel like?"

"Warm and comfortable, but with a strange instability."

Regulus nodded. "It's good that it felt comfortable to you. You will adapt better to it than if it had grated on you. The instability you felt is the penchant that Blacks carry for going mad. It isn't a sentence, I assure you, only a predisposition..."

The lesson carried on, Regulus reciting the charter from memory and answering Harry's questions effortlessly, until it was time for lunch. Harry remembered what Regulus said about practicing etiquette, and made an effort to be more formal.

"When entering a formal meal, diners should sit in order of hierarchy. As the Heir you outrank me, so you would take your seat first while I defer to you. If two families are dining together, those who are allowed to sit first are being shown respect, but also given a measure of social power over those who defer. Keep this in mind during negotiations and only defer if it is prudent."

Harry solemnly stored that knowledge away. While Slytherins were still kids, and in their first few years of school were relatively naive and easy going, it was a political house. Harry had seen his fair share of negotiations, even participated in some, and they would become more common as he and his yearmates grew older and stepped more and more into the political and social spheres of the wizarding world.

 

Harry didn't bother leaving the receiving room after flooing back to Blackwood Hall. There was a chair there, for the occupants to use while waiting on guests, and Harry sat down there for the forty-five minutes he'd be home. Remus joined him ten minutes before they were due to leave, but they didn't speak. The silence was not uncomfortable.

 

Mooncalf Court was Blackwood's opposite. The receiving room was smaller, separate from the rest of the house. The decor was primarily cream and silver. A house elf led Harry and Remus to the sitting room where the lessons would be conducted. Lord Macmillian rose when they entered. He shook each of their hands, saying "Welcome, Mr. Potter and Mr. Lupin" as he did.

"Hello, Lord Macmillian," Harry replied as formally as he could manage. 

The lord of the house nodded gracefully, and sat down. Harry waited until he gestured to another seat before following his lead. "When it comes to formality I imagine you know many of the correct words to say, having lived in Slytherin house for two years now. Your unnecessary awkwardness comes from a lack of practice."

"Yes, sir." Harry replied, when it became clear that Macmillian was waiting for an answer. 

"The Potter family has always been quite relaxed in terms of formality and training," Lord Macmillian began without preamble, "and usually started training their Heirs at age ten. Therefore, you are not as far behind as you would be in other families." Harry fought not to grimace as he thought about the six years worth of training he had to make up for the Black family. "The Potter family has one seat in the Wizengamot," Lord Macmillian began droning immediately. Harry forced himself to pay attention, and managed to get through the ordeal without too much difficulty.

Harry and Remus both followed Lord Macmillian to the family's formal dining room for dinner, where Lady Macmillian and Ernie already waited behind their chairs. Lord Macmillian sat first, then Lady Macmillian and Ernie, then the younger girl Harry assumed must be Ernie's sister. Knowing he had no need of power plays right now, and that such a thing would be seen as rude, Harry waited until the entire family was seated before sitting down himself. Remus sat stiffly after Harry, having had a crash course in this from Sirius when it became apparent that Harry wanted his escort for at least his first visit to Mooncalf Court. Harry was told to watch Ernie's behavior, as he was an Heir to a family of similar standing who had years of etiquette lessons. Harry felt rude staring, and awkward mimicking, but it seemed like this was how Lord Macmillian wanted him to learn so that would be how Harry did things here. 

 

Magical theory was fascinating. Harry's tutor was an African-American man from Minnesota named Tony Wright. He'd been developing new spells, mostly variations on household charms, for years and had been looking to relocate to the UK while Sirius had been looking for a tutor. The fact that he was American also meant he didn't fawn over Harry or his more famous Mum. After two full years in the wizarding world some of the awe was diminishing, but going to Diagon Alley or another wizarding venue outside of school could still easily mean an awkward situation.

Tony Wright met Harry at Blackwood Hall. Sirius had to take Tuesday afternoon off to key the man to the manor's wards when he arrived, but he didn't mind. It was easiest for both Harry and Tutor Wright to meet at Blackwood. 

"Mr. Potter, it's nice to meet you. I'm Tutor Wright," the man said, shaking Harry's hand, immediately upon entering Blackwood. Harry was taken aback but in this familiar environment, surrounded by adults who supported him (even if one was dead), and faced with the friendly demeanor of his tutor he was not uncomfortable in the presence of someone new. He made a mental note to share that progress with Healer Shabani while he introduced himself. "And you must be his mom. Lily Potter, right?"

Lily smiled widely. Being recognized as Harry's mom before her own celebrity was gratifying, given that was all she wanted to be in this afterlife. "Yes, that's me. I'd shake your hand but, well," Lily shrugged good-naturedly, and Tutor Wright chuckled. 

"It's quite alright, Mrs. Potter." He turned back to Harry. "Shall we get started? Where would you like to work?"

Harry led his tutor to the library, and they settled in with quills and parchment at a small table against the wall while Lily hovered nearby with a pleasant expression on her face. 

"Now, Mr. Potter, I'm told you are Heir to two families from opposite magical backgrounds. I'm curious how much you know about the actual differences between Dark and Light magic, and how that factors into family histories. Does that sound like an acceptable starting point for you?"

"Yes, sir. I only really know enough about it to know there's a lot I'm missing, if I'm being honest. Hogwarts doesn't teach about Dark magic except in the context of Defense class, and that class has been a bit of a joke the last two years. I've only read one book on the topic, which a friend gave me for Christmas. I know that it's a spectrum from Dark to Light, not distinct categories. I know that Dark and Light magic, when you pick from far enough apart on the spectrum of course, are noticeably different from each other but I'm not clear on the details of how. I also know that Dark magic isn't always bad, but it's more likely to be dangerous than Light or gray magic."

Tutor Wright nodded attentively while Harry listed off what he knew. "That's a decent basis. There are two main factors for placing something on the Dark to Light spectrum. Darker magic tends to be destructive, while Lighter magic tends to be protective. That refers to its base nature, of course. You can protect someone by destroying a threat, or cause problems by protecting someone or something that causes harm. That is why it's unwise to say that Dark magic is always bad and Light magic is always good. It depends on how you use it. Additionally, the need for sacrifice can pull the categorization of a spell Darker or Lighter. Self-sacrifice creates a pull towards Light, while external sacrifice pulls a spell towards the Dark. Because most of the magic you learn in school is neither destructive or protective, and certainly requires no sacrifice, it is all generally very close to the center of the spectrum. Does that make sense?"

Harry nodded eagerly, making a note as he did. "My friends told me that Dark artifacts are generally more worrisome than Dark magic in general. Why is that?"

"An artifact that carries Dark magic is generally very dangerous, because of the combination of the destructive nature of Dark magic and the un-discerning nature of enchanted artifacts. Anyone who comes into contact with or uses a Dark artifact is at risk of damaging themselves or others unintentionally, regardless of what the original intent of the artifact was."

"That makes perfect sense. My friends probably said something similar to me, but I was- er- ensnared by a Dark artifact at the time and may not have entirely been listening to them." Harry's face grew sheepish with that admission, but Tutor Wright didn't admonish him.

"That is only to be expected. It's unfortunate that you came into contact with something like that without having the preparation to handle it safely."

Harry pushed aside his embarrassment. His tutor was right. "You mentioned family histories?"

"I did. I'm sure you've heard many times by now that the Potter family is Light and the Black family is Dark, but do you know what that means or how it came to be?"

"No, sir. I don't."

"Well, first is that a family's disposition towards Light or Dark magic makes it easier for members of the family to cast that particular form of magic, but harder for them to cast the type that goes against their nature. Someone from the Black family would have to work very hard to learn significant amounts of truly Light magic, but Dark magic would likely come easily to them. The opposite would have been true for your Potter ancestors. Are you following me, so far?" Harry nodded, writing notes. "Family magic changes through the generations, becoming Darker or Lighter, in two ways. The first is by breeding. Children inherit their magical talents from their parents. If people from two Dark families or two Light families have a child together, the child's magic will be at least as polarized as their parents - likely more. Inter-marriage between Dark and Light families is uncommon because of the political differences between them, so this tends to polarize families further. The second way is by the actions of the Lord and Heir of the family before they have their own children, because studying Light or Dark magic extensively will change your own magical core to better accommodate the specialization and that change will be passed on to one's children. Do you have any questions about this?"

Harry finished writing before speaking. "What about Muggle-borns? What was my Mum's magic like, if she didn't inherit it from anywhere?"

"Mages born from no-maj parents are always gray, as that is the most natural state for one's magic." Tutor Wright then seemed to notice the odd look Harry gave him. "No-maj is an American term, I'm sorry. That's what we call people without magic- muggles?"

"So, when I was born my magic would have been a bit grayer than most Potters, because my Mum is muggle-born?"

"Yes, that's correct, assuming your mother didn't do any extensive study of Light or Dark magic."

"There simply wasn't time. I would have loved to," Lily said wistfully. 

"What about the Slytherin magic I inherited from Mum?"

"Explain to me how it happened?"

"Mum took the Slytherin line from Voldemort, as a conquest, and passed it on to me when she died."

Tutor Wright nodded. "In a conquest situation, the conqueror's magic takes over what they win completely. Regardless of the Slytherin line's affiliation before Voldemort's fall, it carries gray magic now because it was absorbed into her new, unspecialized magic. 

"And because she's my Mum and I already had her magic, it wouldn't make a difference And after Sirius adopted me, would it be on the Dark side of gray? Since Sirius is a Black?"

"That would be true if the blood adoption ritual simply mixed in the additional parents' traits, but it actually rewrites your body and magic as if you were born the child of all three parents. Therefore, the Light magic of the Potter family and the Dark magic of the Black family would cancel each other out, leaving you as firmly gray as your mother. Her magical influence wouldn't pull you in either direction, then, and only serves to counter some of the effects of inbreeding that is common in old families in the UK."

Harry's mouth was in an O of surprise. He had never imagined the blood adoption could have changed him back to his birth - and without pain! Magic was incredible. Also, Harry now felt as if Sirius were as much his father as his first one. Harry had known, intellectually, that this was true but putting it in this context changed things for him. 

Tutor Wright, unaware of the depth of Harry's thought, continued by giving Harry examples of truly Light or Dark magic and by explaining some of his own household charms that were Darker than most people would expect in order to cement these new concepts in Harry's mind. 

 

On Friday, Harry took out the books he'd taken from Slytherin's Chamber. He opened the first, which seemed to be a description of the Slytherin line's goals and traits. As Harry understood it, that was what the family charters of his other lines were. He started to read, but only barely comprehended that Slytherin's goals for his line had been education and protection against violence from muggles. He sighed heavily for the third time since opening the book, and hadn't even turned the page yet, and Lily could stand it no more.

"Your mind isn't on the book, baby. What are you thinking?"

Lily's lack of preamble made Harry smile despite himself. It was good to have someone who knew him so well, and would never even think to use that against him. "I'm thinking about Sirius, actually. And the adoption."

"Have you been thinking about this since Tuesday?"

"On and off," Harry replied with a grimace. "My other tutoring kept me pretty distracted, since Regulus and Lord Macmillian won't tolerate it if I don't pay attention. I haven't really had time to figure out what I think about it."

"And now?"

Harry sighed again. "Tell me about my father again? It's related, I promise."

Lily smiled sadly. "James changed a lot over the years I knew him. When we met he was an arrogant toerag, and a bit of a bully. I learned when I got to know Fleamont and Euphemia that that came from being so spoiled by them. He acted like the sun shone out of his arse because his parents treated him like it. He was always persistent, even when I didn't want him to be. He settled down during our sixth year, after the incident that drove me away from Severus. I think that was the first time he really saw how far-reaching the consequences of his actions were. We didn't get close until we were Head Boy and Girl during our seventh year, but he grew up a lot during that quiet year. By seventh year, he was sensitive to others' feelings, and focused on doing the right thing instead of on being the one on top of a situation. He still loved pranks, but they were less malicious and more light-hearted. After we graduated and started fighting in the war, his new attitude of doing the right thing served him well. He was very much a Gryffindor, always willing to put himself in danger to help someone else right up until he died. He held Voldemort off long enough that night that I could finish putting protections into place to keep you alive."

Harry watched the emotions dance across his mother's face while she spoke of the man she'd learned to love, who had sacrificed everything for him. Echoes of those same emotions went through him, but he knew it was nowhere near as intense as for someone who knew his father. "I wish I could remember him. I love the memories you share of him, but I wish I could love him like I should have been able to."

"Me too."

"Is it wrong that I don't?"

"Of course not, baby. You can't be expected to feel a certain way about someone that you don't really know, even if they are your father."

Harry bit his lip, warring with himself internally. "Is it wrong for me to want Sirius to be my dad?"

Lily smiled sadly. "No, baby, that's not wrong either. It's okay to want a dad who's alive and here for you."

"Do you think he wants to be my dad?"

Lily thought back to Boxing Day of Harry's first year, when Sirius first brought up the adoption. She remembered her son hopefully asking Sirius if he really wanted to adopt him, and she remembered the sincerity with which Sirius said he did.  _I think he does want that_ , was what she thought. What she said was "I think you should talk to him about it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harry's tutoring schedule, in case anyone is curious, is as follows:
> 
> Monday: Black family 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. (ends after lunch), Potter family w/ Lord Macmillian 2 p.m. to 6 p.m. (ends after dinner)
> 
> Tuesday: Black family 9 a.m. to 11 a.m., Magical Theory 2 p.m. to 4 p.m.
> 
> Wednesday: Potter family w/ Lord Macmillian 2 p.m. to 4 p.m.
> 
> Thursday: Magical theory 2 p.m. to 4 p.m.
> 
> Friday: independent study of the Slytherin family
> 
> His Monday tutoring sessions include a meal for etiquette practice.


	4. Heavy Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for discussion of child abuse in this chapter, as Harry will be telling his friends about the Dursleys. Some of it will be repeated information from earlier in the series, and some will be new details that Harry has discussed with his healer or with Theo off-screen.

Harry's invitation to his friends had said that he wanted to talk to them all about something important. He'd given nothing away, but the tone had been serious. It was Sunday, a week since he'd last seen them, and they had all agreed to come to Blackwood Hall again that afternoon. Harry woke that morning knowing he'd be having more than one heavy conversation that day. He found Remus and Sirius already at breakfast when he went down. 

"Hi Remus. Hi Sirius," he said overly cheerfully. His heart rate quickened and he was reminded of his mum's suggestion that he talk to Sirius. He was going to do that today, too. He took a steadying breath. "Siri, could I talk with you after we eat?"

Sirius cocked his head to the side in mild confusion, an action reminiscent of his animagus form. "Sure, Pup. Anything you need."

Harry nodded and picked at his toast. He struggled to swallow around the pit in his stomach and the lump in his throat, but knew if he didn't he would be hungrier than he wanted to be by lunch. When he could stomach no more, and Sirius had finished eating, the two moved into one of the house's sitting rooms. The look on Sirius' face was pure concern.

"Are you okay, Harry?"

Harry recognized the emotion in Sirius' voice as the same his Mum showed him. Sirius already acted like a parent to him. Harry only hoped he'd want to be recognized for it. "Yeah. Just nervous."

"Is it the conversation you're having with your friends today? If you aren't ready, I can cancel for you and take the blame."

Harry shook his head. "It's not that. I mean, I am nervous about that, but that's not what I wanted to talk to you about now."

"Okay. What is it?"

"When you adopted me, why did you do it?"

"I'm not sure what you mean, Pup."

"I mean- did you only want me to be your Heir, or did you really want to adopt me?"

The confusion on Sirius' face melted into affection. "I have always wanted to be raising you, Harry. When James asked me to be your Godfather, I might have been as excited about your birth as he was." Lily chuckled and nodded behind him. "Even before your parents died, I wanted to be a part of raising you. And when I was in Azkaban, not being around to be there for you was the most painful thing the Dementors could bring up for me." Here Sirius hesitated, causing some apprehension in Harry. "If I hadn't needed an Heir with a blood relation, I can't say I would have taken you to the Goblins for the blood adoption ritual. I probably would have just taken custody of you as your Godfather. But I have always wanted you, Pup."

Harry nodded, biting his lip. "And, do you only want to be my Godfather now?"

"Are you asking-"

"If you want to be my Dad? Yeah. I am."

Sirius didn't know what to say but he knew he loved the kid in front of him and wanted to ease the tension he could see in Harry's shoulders, so he pulled him into a tight hug while he thought things over. Harry relaxed into the hug almost immediately, and Sirius didn't let go until he found his next words.

"I can't replace James for you, kiddo. I'm not him. That's not what you're looking for, is it?"

Harry shook his head. "I don't even remember my father. Mum and you and Remus have told me stories about him, and I love those stories, but it's not the same thing as knowing him. There isn't really anything to replace."

Sirius' heart broke at that thought, but he couldn't deny its truth. "Then what is it you're looking for?"

"I've always wanted a Dad. Growing up and seeing boys my age with their fathers, I've always been jealous of that relationship. Mum is great, but it's not the same." He looked sheepishly at his Mum, but the look on her face was kind and showed no surprise or offense at his words. "And now I have a chance to have that with you, if you want it too. And Mum told me on Friday that I could love my father's memory and a living dad at the same time, and I know that since my father was your friend you would respect and encourage that too."

Sirius spoke, voice thick with emotion. "You're too mature for your own good, Prongslet."

Harry ignored the comment in favor of getting the answer he needed. "So do you want to? Be my dad?"

"Yeah. I do want to." Sirius pulled Harry into another tight hug. "I love you, kiddo. You know that, right?"

Harry smiled against the man's chest. "I love you too- Dad."

Testing the new title for Sirius felt odd. The word Dad felt foreign on his tongue in a way it hadn't earlier in the conversation. Using it for Sirius was in no way natural. But it also felt good. Harry's heart was warm, thinking about this proof he now had that he was loved and wanted by someone who was alive. Because he knew his Mum had always loved and wanted him, and he loved her and was grateful for her, but she was also a ghost. Sirius was alive. Harry wasn't an orphan in this moment. A new sense of security settled into his mind as he realized that, and he squeezed Sirius - his Dad - tighter. 

"Wanna go out and fly, kiddo?"

Harry nodded vigorously, not trusting himself to speak for the moment, and ran to grab his broom. The two flew in the Garden until lunch. When Harry asked "Could you pass the salt, Dad?" Remus choked on his bite of salad. Both Harry and Sirius' grins were blinding when Remus recovered, and the look he gave them for shocking him was only mildly reproachful in consideration of their obvious happiness.

 

After lunch was finished, they went to the receiving room to wait for Harry's friends to arrive. They came through the floo in much the same way they had just over a week ago, but there was no light-hearted conversation. Theo put a hand on Harry's shoulder, his face stoic but the action lending its support. Lily gave a cool touch to the other. Harry appreciated both of their support, but neither was able to relax him.

When everyone arrived, Harry silently led them to a sitting room. Remus and Siri- his dad- followed, Harry having asked for their presence. Remus because Harry had already told him once and he could provide the support of someone who already knew, and his dad because Harry didn't actually know how many details Remus had ever told him. While he was telling the story, he may as well get everyone on the same page. Once his friends and family were seated, he took a deep breath to steady himself.

"Er. I wanted to talk to you all today because Agim, my Mind Healer, wants me to practice talking more openly about the things he's treating me for." Daphne cocked her head, being the only one in the room who didn't already know that Harry regularly saw a Mind Healer. "I decided to tell you in case it ever becomes public knowledge, so that my closest friends could be among the first who knew. It helps that you all already see some of it, too. The Calming Draughts, and the panic attacks. None of you have ever outwardly judged me."

The people Harry had gathered listened to him with impressive patience as he rambled nervously. Lily's cool touch slid from his shoulder to his wrist, and seemed to calm him minutely. "Some of you know more about this than others, but I wanted you all here while I talk about it. The reason I never talked about home before coming here, and the reason I had to stay with Professor Snape last summer. The relatives I grew up with. They didn't treat me well."

"Name it, Harry." Lily whispered gently.

Harry sighed, a hint of defeat in his eyes. "They abused me."

None of Harry's friends were surprised, but Blaise and Daphne were both visibly saddened to hear their suspicions confirmed. "I can't even remember when it started. I think it was as soon as I was left there." He swallowed nervously, but his friends' expressions showed no judgement. "My cousin had two bedrooms, and there was a guest room, but I was forced to sleep in a broom cupboard. They barely fed me enough to keep my body working, and then took even that much food away when I was being punished. I once went ten days without eating, and was only let out of the cupboard once each day to use the bathroom. It was locked from the outside. I was being punished for getting a better grade in school than my cousin, which might as well mean I was punished for passing the class. When they weren't locking me in the cupboard, I had to work like a house elf. A particularly disliked one, probably. My uncle beat me. Not so often, mostly when I did accidental magic. Mum had to teach me how to control it better so that I could avoid beatings. At five years old, I spent my nights meditating in the locked cupboard. If it weren't for Mum, I might not have known my own name when I went to school for the first time. They only ever called me 'boy' or 'freak'."

Tears threatened to spill from Harry's eyes, but he had years of practice controlling his emotions and willed them away. "I wasn't allowed to have any friends at school, and my relatives convinced most of my teachers that I was an uncontrollable delinquent so that they wouldn't sympathize with me. I wasn't allowed to have things of my own, even clothes, even if my relatives didn't have to pay for them. I also wasn't allowed to get medical help when I needed it - last summer was the first time I saw a doctor or Healer since my parents died. If I was sick, I was locked in the cupboard until I was well enough to work again. When I was nine my cousin pushed me down the stairs and I broke my wrist, but I didn't even know it was broken until the Healer found it last year. I just worked with my left hand until I could use my right one again."

"How did you survive all of that?" Daphne asked, her voice remarkably unsteady. 

Harry smiled slightly. "Mum helped a lot. She taught me to meditate and control myself, and told me all about the Wizarding world, and constantly reminded me that my relatives were wrong to hurt me. While my relatives punished me for doing well or for accidental magic, she praised me and loved me."

"Are you... okay?" she asked, seeming to know that it was an awful question.

He chuckled bitterly. "Not really. But I'm better than I was. Two years ago, I could never have managed to say this to all of you. I could barely say it to a Healer last year. And I'm holding up alright through the telling of it."

At that moment, Daphne seemed to lose a battle with herself. Decorum forgotten, she threw herself across the small sitting room and wrapped her arms tightly around her friend. Harry startled, and then returned the gesture. They held the hug for a long time, and neither could be sure who was getting more comfort from it. 

Once everyone, especially Daphne, had a chance to collect themselves the group left the sitting room. With it, they left the difficult conversation, and dinner was pleasant. 


	5. The Family Charter of The Ancient and Most Noble House of Black

_The Ancient and Most Noble House of Black is a family of the highest caliber. Members of the Family must uphold the Family's values. This includes striving for personal excellence, maintaining the purity of magic, and defending the Wizarding World against those who would do it harm. Members of the Family must also uphold the Family's reputation and seek to never tarnish it. The Ancient and Most Noble House of Black operates from a seat of power, located at the townhouse at Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, London. Only members of the main branch of the Family may live in this property, though any member of the Family can access it at any time._

 

**_Duties of Individuals in the_ _Family_ **

_The Lord of the Family is to be the oldest male in good family standing descended from the main branch of the Family. The Lord of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black represents the Family and its interests in the Wizengamot using the Black family seat, manages the Family's finances and business interactions, enacts Family Rites, and judges compliance of other members of the Family with the duties and values outlined within this Charter. The Lord of the Family is to ensure that appropriate marriages are found for each child in the Family before the child comes of age, but may delegate making these arrangements to each child's parents to be approved by the Lord of the Family. The Lord of the Family is to arrange for and oversee the education of each child in the family._

_The Heir of the Family is to be the oldest qualifying descendant of the Lord of the Family. In order to qualify for Heirship a child must be male, magically gifted, have a direct blood connection to the Family, and have four magically gifted grandparents. The Heir of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black is to be educated in the Family's values, etiquette, politics, and business in preparation for his Lordship. Academic studies for the Heir of the Family must include Latin, German, Magical Theory, Astronomy, and Dark Magic. The Heir of the Family must also be educated in the Family Rites so that he may enact them when he is Lord._ _Younger qualifying descendants of the Lord of the Family are to be given the same education as the Heir so that they may take on the role of Heir, Regent, or Lord should it become necessary. This Heir's Training is to begin at age seven._

_Male descendants of secondary branches of the Family are to be educated in the Family's values, etiquette, Latin, German, Magical Theory, Astronomy, and Dark Magic. These descendants of the Family are expected to choose a career that will elevate their personal status and support their family comfortably without relying excessively on Family wealth._

_Female descendants of the Family are to be educated in the Family's values, etiquette, Latin, Magical Theory, Astronomy, and Dark Magic. Female descendants are not expected to choose a career, but are permitted provided the career will elevate their personal status and uphold the Family's values. When a female descendant of the Family marries, her primary allegiance is transferred to her married family. She does not lose access to Black Family properties, Rites, or secrets, but she may be excluded if her married family comes into conflict with the Family of her birth. Should a conflict of this type occur, a married female descendant of the Family may petition the Lord of the Family for sanctuary with the Family and transfer her primary allegiance, as well as that of underage children, to the Family of her birth._

_A Lord Regent will be named in the case that the Lord of the Family is temporarily incapacitated, or in the event that the Lord of the Family dies, is disgraced, or is permanently incapacitated before the Heir is of age to take Lordship. The Regent shall be the oldest descendant of the main branch of the Family who received Heir's Training. In the event that no such person is able to take Regency, it will pass to the eldest male relative of a secondary branch of the Family. The Lord Regent must maintain the Family's finances and business interactions, but may not make changes to them, and oversee the education and marriage of each child in the Family._

 

**_Rites of the Family_ **

_All Rites of the Family listed below are Family secrets, not to be shared with or observed by outsiders. Other minor Rites of the Family can be found in the extended documents on the subject, kept at the seat of power of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black in the Lord's study. Minor Rites are not considered Family secrets, but should only be shared with proper discretion. In order to perform a Rite, all recognized members of the Family must be present and the Lord of the Family must invoke the Family Magic for the purpose of the Rite. All Rites apart from the Ascendance to Lordship and Acknowledgement of the Heir require both a Lord and an Heir to be present. When the Rite is completed, the Family magic will judge the opinions of all present members of the Family to ensure that the Rite is accepted. In the case of disagreement among those assembled, the Lord's decision carries the most weight, followed by the decision of the Heir, and then all other assembled members of the Family._

_Ascendance to Lordship - This Rite is to be performed when an Heir becomes Lord of the Family due to the previous Lord's death, disgrace, or permanent incapacitation. This Rite gives the former Heir the title Lord and all rights and responsibilities of the Lord of the Family._

_Acknowledgement of the Heir - This Rite is to be performed as soon as a child of the Family qualifies for Heirship and there is no acknowledged Heir. This Rite gives the child the title Heir and all rights and responsibilities of the Heir of the Family. Once an Heir is acknowledged, the Heirship cannot be changed unless the Heir dies or is disgraced or permanently incapacitated._

_Rite of Disownment - This Rite is to be performed when a member of the Family has failed to live up to their duties or the Family's values, as judged by the Lord of the Family. Once disowned, a person is no longer a member of the Family and is excluded from all Family Rites, properties, and secrets. Disownment can also occur automatically if a member of the Family is judged in a magical fashion to be disgraced, such as in a magical court of law. The Rite of Disownment can be reversed with a Rite of Admittance._

_Rite of Admittance - This Rite is to be performed to allow a disowned former member of the Family to return to their previous Family status, or should that be unavailable the status of a member of the Family. This Rite should only be performed if the former member of the Family is judged to have been disowned in error, or has proven themselves significantly changed and worthy of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black once again._

_Blessing of Unions - This Rite is to be performed when a member of the Family is married or bonded in a match deemed appropriate by the Lord of the Family. This Rite allows a member of the Family to share their Family magic with their spouse and any children resulting from the Union, and grants the spouse the protection of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black._

_Presentation of a Magical Child - This Rite is to be performed when a child of the Family who is not expected to take Heirship shows their first signs of magical gifts. This Rite makes the child an acknowledged member of the Family, and gives them all rights and responsibilities associated with their role in the Family._

_Rite of Sanctuary - This Rite is to be performed when a married female Family member's petition for sanctuary is accepted by the Lord of the Family in cases of conflict between the Family of her birth and her married family. With this Rite, the petitioner's primary allegiance, and that of her underage children, is transferred to the Family and they are granted protection from her married family. The Lord of the Family will then contact her spouse, should he be living, and negotiate the next steps._


	6. The Family Charter of The Noble House of Potter

_The Noble House of Potter is a Family of honor. All members of the Family must uphold the Family's values, which include self-improvement, proper application of justice, and keeping peace in the Wizarding World. The Noble House of Potter operates from a seat of power located at Potter Manor, Wiltshire._

 

**_Duties of Individuals in the_ _Family_ **

_The Lord or Lady of the Family is to be descended from the main branch of the Family. The Lord or Lady represents the Noble House of Potter in the Wizengamot using the Potter family seat, manages the family's finances and business interactions, and oversees the care, education, and marriage of each child in the Family. The Lord or Lady of the Family may also judge that another member of the Family has significantly left behind the Potter values or injured the Family and apply consequences._

_The Heir of the Family is to be the oldest qualifying descendant of the current Lord or Lady of the Family. In order to qualify for Heirship a child must be magically gifted and have a direct blood connection to the Family. The Heir of the Noble House of Potter is to be educated in the Family's values, law, and business in preparation for leading the Family. The Heir should also learn Magical Theory and Spanish. Younger qualifying children should also be given the same education as the Heir so that they may take on the role of Heir, Regent, Lord or Lady if necessary. This Heir's training should begin by age ten._

_Children in the Noble House of Potter who do not qualify for Heirship should be educated in the Family's values, Magical Theory, and Spanish. These descendants are to be provided with opportunity for a fulfilling career._

_A Regency will be used in the case that the Lord or Lady of the Family is unable to do their duties while no Heir is ready to inherit. The Regency will be given to the oldest Family member in good standing who was given Heir's Training. The Regent may take on all rights and responsibilities of the Lord or Lady, aside from applying judgement to other Family members._


	7. Slytherin's Journals (annotated by Harry Potter-Black)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italicized text is Slytherin's writing (written in Parsel), bold text is Harry's notes on the topic, and standard/upright text takes place outside the journals. 
> 
> Some of the concepts found in Salazar's journal are borrowed with permission from ScotlandEvander and their Rewritten in Time series. It's completely different from this one, but I loved the ideas they had about Slytherin that I personally hadn't seen before. The series itself is also absolutely fantastic, and very in-depth. It's a time-travel redo with Draco Malfoy as the main character and I highly recommend it.

After studying both the Black and Potter Family Charters, Harry felt ready to tackle Slytherin's journals that he'd brought from the Chamber. He spread the four books out on the desk in his room. One was a personal journal, written around the same time that Hogwarts was founded, one appeared to be an ancient Family Charter, and the other two contained Family secrets to be passed on to Heirs. He set those two aside for now, feeling that they'd be of little use to him until he was older and better understood his duties as Lord Slytherin. Harry found himself torn between the other two, however. The Family Charter was more directly related to Harry's studies and his self-discipline urged him to tackle the dry text. The journal would be much more interesting, however, and would provide some historical context for the Charter. Harry knew from his glance through it in the Chamber that it was less detailed than the Charters for the Black and Potter families, and at just over a thousand years old historical context would be key to applying anything it said to his own life.

Lily watched her son silently debate with himself, but didn't step in. With a sigh, Harry decided that he'd have an easier time looking for clarification in the historic journal than he would memorizing its contents and applying them to the Charter. He set aside Slytherin's journal with a longing glance, and opened the other book. Before he started reading, he spared a moment to be glad they were written in Parsel instead of English, since the English language from so long ago would be nearly indecipherable to him. He made notes on a separate sheet of parchment, and used mild sticking charms to fix them into the book at the appropriate locations.

 

_**The Family Charter of the Legendary House of Slytherin** _

_The Legendary House of Slytherin comports itself with dignity fitting its status._ **What does legendary mean as opposed to noble or ancient?** _The House of Slytherin values the excellence and protection of the Wizarding World as a whole and seeks to achieve this through education of young witches and wizards and the application of discretion._ **Discretion referring to pure-bloodedness? Seen as protection, why? Other Slytherins before or after Salazar working to educate? No reference to Family Reputation or seat of power as found in modern Charters. Salazar probably operated out of Hogwarts. Descendants, after he left?**

 

_**Duties of Individuals in the House of Slytherin** _

_The Lord of the Legendary House of Slytherin is to be the oldest male in good standing descended from the main branch of the House._ **No use of capital Family - a term developed after Slytherin's time?** _The duty of the Lord of the Legendary House of Slytherin is to represent the House's interests within Wizarding society and to shape the next generations of witches and wizards._ **It makes sense that Salazar Slytherin founded a school, given the emphasis on education in the Family Charter.** _The Lord of the House also manages the Family's finances and business interactions and is to directly oversee the education of each Slytherin child._ **Nothing about Family Rites? Will likely be detailed in one of the Heir's books. No mention of government - Slytherin preferred to stay out of it, or no central government like the Ministry existed?**

_The Heir of the Legendary House of Slytherin is to be the oldest qualifying descendant of the Lord of the Family. In order to qualify a child must be male, magically gifted, and a Parselmouth._ **No mention of magical ancestry, despite Slytherin being remembered as a Pureblood fanatic. Assumed, or misrepresentation? Maybe only a view of Salazar and not of the whole House?** _The Heir of the Legendary House of Slytherin is to be educated in the Family's values, politics, and discretion. Academic studies for the Heir should be intensive and individually tailored._ **Another example of valuing education. Works in my favor, since it doesn't add any extra subjects on top of school and my other two Heirships.** _Heir's training is to begin as early as the Heir shows aptitude for his studies, and progress at a tailored rate through his youth._

_Descendants of the Legendary House of Slytherin who do not take Heirship are to be educated just as staunchly as Heirs, regardless of sex or position in the House._ **Somewhat surprising. I expected variation between girls and boys as in the Black family, since only boys can take Lordship. Suppose that Slytherin didn't see women as leaders but still thought they could be successful and improve the Wizarding World with development of their talents.**

**No mention of Regency - will have to ask Dad if the Ministry has given him anything related to this Lordship.**

 

Harry closed the text, and laid down his quill. Stretching his wrists, he turned to his Mum. Lily had been reading over Harry's shoulder while he examined the Charter.

"Your thoughts were definitely interesting. It would have made more sense if I could read the Charter of course."

Harry snorted. "It's not like you missed out on much. I made comments on the places it was different from the other Charters I've had to study this week. It's kind of interesting how similar they are, actually. This was written at least four hundred years earlier than the Black Charter, and about eight hundred years earlier than the Potter one? But all three have a lot in common. Enough that you can see the differences between the families by reading these documents."

"Harry. It's summer. Stop thinking so hard."

Harry stuck out his tongue at his Mum. "I need to learn this stuff. Besides, I like learning."

"How did you not end up a Ravenclaw?"

Harry just shrugged. A glance at his desk clock told him it was lunch time, so he went down to the family dining room to eat.

 

To Harry's surprise, Remus wasn't alone when he got there. "Hi, Dad. What are you doing home?"

Sirius grinned, like he did every time Harry called him 'Dad' so casually. "We had a major raid right away this morning - most of us were sent to Mungo's after. I'm fine, but they want me to rest the rest of the day."

Harry hugged the man tightly. "Stay fine please," he mumbled into his Dad's chest.

Sirius hugged his son back, surprised at the strength of his reaction. "I will. It was minor injuries only, kiddo. Promise."

The preteen nodded, and held the hug a moment longer before going to his own seat at the table. "I've been studying Slytherin's books today. Some interesting stuff. What's a Legendary House mean?"

"It's the rank that sits above Ancient and Most Noble. A House is dubbed Legendary when its Lord does something that will change the course of Wizarding history. Slytherin is a Legendary House?" Harry nodded. "I assume it was given the distinction when Hogwarts was founded. Legendary Houses don't automatically get Wizengamot seats, but the Lord can petition for one at any time. Beyond that, the only benefit is being respected in high society. Legendary Houses are incredibly rare."

"What other Houses are Legendary?"

"None that are publicly claimed. The other three Founders' lines, the Peverell line, and the Emrys line - Merlin's line - are the only ones I know of historically."

"Wow." Harry's eyes were wide, and for a moment he didn't seem to be capable of saying anything else. "Slytherin's Charter didn't say anything about a Lord Regent. You'd be the Potter one now, right?" Sirius nodded. "Did the Ministry give you any title because of the Slytherin line?"

"They have me listed as the Regent for it, but that doesn't mean much. All claimed houses that have a title have to have a Regent or a Lord or Lady now, that probably wasn't true a thousand years ago when that Charter was written."

"So what can you do as Regent?"

"The Slytherin line has a Gringott's vault, which I can access but haven't bothered looking at. If there were any known properties or business connections for the House I'd be in charge of managing them, but the line has been unclaimed for so long that there's nothing like that. There's no Wizengamot seat, either. It seems none of the Lords have bothered to ask for one. There is a seat on the Hogwarts Board of Governors, but I haven't been able to do anything with it given how many other things I've got going on."

Harry noticed that his dad looked a bit sheepish when he admitted that fact, but he just smiled encouragingly. He was constantly busy just doing Heir's lessons for three Houses while Sirius was managing the Head position of all of them and working a full time job. For the rest of the meal, they talked about Remus' day. Harry noticed that his Dad avoided bringing up the raid they'd been on, and was grateful for it. The idea of getting a living parent and then seeing them in danger gave him chills.

 

After lunch, Harry returned to his studies. He opened the personal journal with much more excitement than he'd given the Charter, and took out a fresh sheet of parchment to make notes on.  

_Early Summer 988 - Today marks four years since I left home, and I'm happy to say I've never looked back. I've met a woman - Helga Hufflepuff is her name. She is on travels similar to mine, seeking out knowledge of Magic and sharing what she knows. I confessed to her that four years of constant travel, and constant vigilance against the violence of the non-gifted, has left me weary. I am only twenty - I should not feel my age in my bones. Helga agreed that she should like to have a place to rest unmolested. Her home, like mine, was inhospitable. For the time being, we have agreed to travel together. I am unsure what possesses me to like her so much, but she already has me thinking of her as a friend. Perhaps I am just lonely, after four years of moving from place to place and finding new mentors and students at every one. But Helga is kind, and seems genuine in it. I do not know how long our companionship will last, but I intend to enjoy it while it does._

**Violence of the non-gifted - muggles? - could lead to the assertion in the Charter that the Wizarding World needs protection. Witch burnings we study aren't until much later - 1600s - but we study no solid history from before the Founding of Hogwarts.**

_Mid Fall 988 - Helga and I have met another traveling pair, and now we are four. How has this happened? I confess I worry that too large a group will threaten my safety, but these new additions have impressed Helga and myself. Rowena Ravenclaw has generations of Magical family history to draw on and has made her life's mission in expanding her knowledge. There is much she can teach me, and she promises she will in exchange for knowledge I have learned. I worry I'll teach her nothing new, as she is incredibly well-learned. Godric Gryffindor is a master of combat - both magical and by sword. I want to duel him, to learn to defend myself as gracefully as he does. I only would apply more discretion to the fights I engaged in. Godric has told us stories of his heroism, but I want only to guard my life._

**Mentions Ravenclaw's family - did his own not collect knowledge? Was it somehow lost when he was forced to leave?**

_Midwinter 988 - It is the darkest day of the year, and the cold is bitter. Our traveling group of four has been forced to find shelter, as a major storm is brewing. The Magical warmth we typically use cannot compete with tonight's weather. The shelter we have found is an abandoned Castle on the shore of a lake and the edge of a forest. It is clearly uninhabited, but in good condition and highly defensible. I find myself tempted to remain here, even when my three companions move on. The castle feels safe, and that is a feeling I have had too little of in my life. I suspect, however, that the others may enjoy this castle as much as I do. Helga has not stopped saying that she too is weary of traveling, and Rowena has been unable to take on a new pupil since our group of four formed for lack of security. Indeed, that is true of all of us, but Rowena seems to feel the desire to teach most keenly. Godric may leave, but as he speaks of battle strategies for this stronghold he seems enraptured with it._

**The castle they found has to be Hogwarts. I thought the Founders built the castle? Maybe they only restored it.**

_Early Spring 989 - Rowena and Godric are gone, though they say it may not be permanent. Godric's thirst for adventure could not be satisfied in a stronghold, especially as we began laying Magic into the castle to repel the non-gifted or others who may wish us harm. Rowena craved a pupil to teach, and knew one would not find her unless she left for a time. Helga and I remain, building up the castle's defenses and experimenting with Magic. Already I have filled several books with our research discoveries - new spells and Magical laws that may not exist anywhere else. It is exciting enough for us, even without Godric and Rowena._

_Mid Spring 989 - A young wizard has found the castle. He says that Rowena sent him when he had to flee his non-gifted family. I worry that his family seeks him out, but we will teach him. First, he will lend some Magic to the warding of the castle._

_Late Spring 989 - Godric has returned with new stories of daring that chill me to the bone. He brings also a student, and says that the two of them will remain at the castle for some time. I asked that his pupil lend some Magic to the castle's protections in payment for staying here, and he has agreed. My experiments show that the castle's wards can only become stronger by the varied inputs from different witches and wizards, so I will ask the same of any who come._

**Is that why Hogwarts is known as one of the safest places in the Wizarding World? How many people have added to the school's wards since 988?**

_Midsummer 989 - We found this castle on the year's darkest day, and Rowena has returned to us on its lightest. She brings with her a large collection of books - her family library. I did not ask why no one in her family resisted her taking them, warned off by the melancholy in her eyes when she told us. They must be dead. She brings also several pupils, each of whom are doing their part for the wards under her tutelage as I write this. I look forward to reading the wealth of knowledge Rowena has brought, but I will respect her grief and wait until she invites us to partake. The castle has a library, run down as it is. Godric and I are repairing it and adding additional Magical protections to it so that Rowena can safely store her books there, along with any others we collect. I sense that Rowena will not be so eager to leave the castle again, as she has brought most of her worldly possessions with her._

_Late Summer 989 - My pupil sent by Rowena learns quickly. Godric's pupil has left, with permission to tell any Magically-gifted people who desire to learn here. It seems Rowena will not let her newfound desire for safety interfere with her teaching. I worry more each time a student with non-gifted family arrives, and have thrown myself into the castle's defenses. I do not want us found by those with violent intentions. The others think me paranoid, but after the violent rejection I faced from my own family-_

Harry froze in his reading, and looked up at his Mum. "Slytherin was Muggle-born!"

Lily's eyes widened dramatically before turning skeptical. "Slytherin was a well-known Blood Purist, Harry. Are you sure?"

"Yes, listen! 'I worry more each time a student with non-gifted family arrives, and have thrown myself into the castle's defenses.' That's what he calls Muggles, I don't think the term is that old. 'I do not want us found by those with violent intentions. The others think me paranoid, but after the violent rejection I faced  _from my own family when they discovered my gifts_ I know all too well how dangerous the world is for us.' Slytherin wasn't a blood purist, he was scared!" Lily looked as if her world had been turned upside down, and Harry pointed out the other things he'd read that hinted at Slytherin being the first in his family to have magic. "It's too bad that no one would ever believe me if I told them this, and the journal is written in Parsel so I have no proof."

"When you see your friends next, see if they can read the journal using a translation charm. I don't know if it will work, since Parseltongue isn't a human language, but it's worth a try." Harry nodded thoughtfully, and returned to his reading.

By dinner, he'd read through the whole journal. More and more knowledge-seekers had flocked to the castle until the four Founders decided to call it a proper school in the fall of 990. Once they did, they each had a hand in teaching the pupils who came in their specialties. Slytherin was obsessed with creature breeding (which reminded Harry of Gris, and he hoped she was doing well) and experimental magic. Hufflepuff specialized in Potion-making and transfiguration. She also was apparently quite the cook, and manned the kitchens. Harry wondered if the school got big enough to need house-elves while Slytherin was still there. Ravenclaw taught History and Charmwork, and Gryffindor taught combat and defense. This journal ended shortly thereafter, and the only other remotely interesting bit of it was Slytherin meeting his wife - one of Hufflepuff's favorite students. Harry sighed - the Founders hadn't even created the four Houses yet. Harry had been led to believe that was one of the first things they did, but the school had been in operation for almost a year at the end of this journal.

Hopefully the next was also in the Chamber.

 


	8. Birthday at Blackwood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long break between chapters. I had a couple other plots run away with me, but don't worry. I'll never abandon this series, because sometimes I need a break from torturing my children.

Harry was given the day off tutoring for his thirteenth birthday - the first he would celebrate at Blackwood Hall, with a Dad, with friends who knew what was going on with him when he panicked, with a place he could leave things and not have to worry they would disappear. With stability.

Harry had asked to just have a dinner again, like the previous year. His Dad wanted to throw him a big party, and had been half-sure that Harry had only had a small celebration the year before because of Snape, but Lily helped her son get the message through to his enthusiastic new parent. Harry wasn't comfortable being the center of attention, especially in larger groups, after having so little attention for most of his life. A simple dinner and gifts was infinitely more than he'd ever had before Hogwarts. 

 

Harry laughed when an eagle owl arrived at breakfast. Just like the previous year, Harry had received a very formal letter from Malfoy. Harry was glad that they were at school for the other boy's birthday so he wasn't forced to return this awkward gesture. 

Blaise, Daphne, and Theo were the first to arrive. Harry had also invited Ron, Neville, and Hermione. Ron couldn't make it because his family was in Egypt, but the other two came closer to mealtime. Each 'group' of guests was aware that the others would be there, and had agreed to try to set aside houses and blood status for the evening. Hermione and Daphne seemed to be having the easiest time of it, politely discussing schoolwork. Daphne's family adhered less to notions of blood purity than most, though they did still marry into pure bloodlines themselves, so she didn't mind the Muggle-born witch. Gryffindors offended her much more, with their tendency to be loud and do foolish things. Neville stuck to Hermione like glue, casting nervous glances at the Slytherins. Daphne mostly ignored him, which was easy to do when he was so quiet. Theo and Blaise also kept to themselves. Harry bounced between the two groups until it was time to eat, which came blessedly soon. 

Forced proximity at the dinner table could have gone terribly, but all of Harry's friends managed to keep their promises to him. By dessert, Neville was relaxing and Theo had engaged Hermione in a discussion on warding techniques. As the party prepared to open gifts, Harry had to think that the night had been a great success. 

 

Ron had owled some homemade sweets, along with a letter wishing him a happy birthday and telling him all about Egypt. From Hermione, Harry got a book about Arithmancy in spell creation, which was thoughtful but a bit over Harry's head for now. He thanked her anyway, since the book would stick around until he was ready for it. Neville had given Harry a potted lavender plant that his grandmother had charmed to self-water as needed. Harry loved it, and told his nervous friend as much. It was practical without looking like it. Anyone who didn't already know about Harry's anxiety would think he was just taking a deeper interest in Herbology. Harry's Dad gave him a new photo album featuring the two of them, which Harry forcibly did  _not_ tear up over. It would sit next to the ones he'd gotten from Hagrid and Remus in his first year and comfort him on bad days. Blaise gave Harry a book on major spell creators throughout history. Inside, they had written  _Check out the competition._ From Theo, Harry got a wand holster that strapped onto his wrist and kept his wand safe. Harry remembered telling his friend that there should be pockets sewn specially into their robes for wands and was pleased that he wouldn't have to keep it in his trouser pocket or bag anymore. Daphne had gotten him a mixture of casual and dress robes again, as he'd outgrown the wardrobe she'd bought him first year. He laughed and told her he had a dad now to buy him clothes, but she waved him off saying that no one had better style than the Greengrasses. Sirius only shrugged at Harry in response, and Harry thanked Daphne for the gift. The robes were really nice. Remus gave Harry a wand care kit, so that he could keep his wand properly polished and maintained. 

After gifts, the group spent some time in the library. Hermione was entranced, which left Neville to hold his own in conversation with the Slytherins. He did admirably, and Harry was happy to see everyone getting along.

 

When everyone went home an hour later - Hermione being side-along apparated by Remus and the rest by floo - Harry was utterly exhausted. He carefully put away each of his new gifts, however. Everything Harry owned was precious to him, especially when it was things his friends had put thought into choosing for him, and he wasn't going to risk anything being lost or damaged. That done, Harry collapsed into bed. 

"Happy birthday, baby." Lily whispered to her dozing son. He hummed in response, already too far into unconsciousness to speak. 


	9. The Rat

Shortly after Harry's birthday, he woke up sick. Standing up out of bed gave him a dizzy spell, but he waited for it to settle and moved to the bathroom to wash up. Lily frowned when she noticed him sway. As Harry peeled off his pajamas, he noticed they were sweatier than usual. Which was odd, because he felt cold. He dressed warmly for the weather, and went down to breakfast a bit later than usual.

 

Sirius and Remus weren't there. Harry assumed they'd already eaten, and helped himself to some toast. Nothing else appealed to him that morning, as his stomach was a bit off. 

"Are you alright, baby?"

Harry started out of the daze he was in. "Fine, Mum," he replied.

Lily frowned again at the obvious congestion in his voice. "You don't seem fine." Harry only shrugged, which made Lily fret even more.

 

It was a Tuesday, which meant Harry was due to meet Regulus for tutoring at nine. He finished his toast and went to the floo room. It was a bit odd that they hadn't seen anyone else this morning. Remus usually saw Harry off to his tutoring appointments, even if he didn't go along. Still, Harry could manage the floo by now so at five minutes to the hour he grabbed a handful of the floo powder and whirled away to Grimmauld Place.

Regulus met him in the kitchen as usual, which comforted Harry. "Good morning, Uncle Regulus,"

A raised eyebrow showed Lily that she wasn't imagining the rawness of her son's voice. "Good morning, Harry. Are you feeling alright?"

"'M fine," he said again. It was a bit grumpier this time.

"I really don't think he's fine, Regulus. Can you see if he has a fever?"

The man nodded and waved his wand. His eyebrows shot up when the spell showed that Harry had a temperature of 39.4. "You're not fine. Sit down please, Harry." He noted that the child sat heavily, as though it was too much work to stay standing. "You've got a fever, and something is going on with your throat. Any other symptoms?"

"No. I told you, I'm fine."

"When he got up this morning, he almost fell over after getting out of bed. And he barely ate at breakfast."

"Thank you, Lily. Harry, I'm only trying to help. I can't if you don't tell me what the problem is."

Regulus sounded concerned, and it made Harry feel guilty. He grimaced. He didn't feel great, but he'd dealt with a lot worse before and he didn't see why his mum and uncle were so upset. "You don't need to worry about me."

"We're family, Harry. If I can help you, then I will."

"I don't want to see you suffer, baby."

Harry turned to his mum then. "You've never made a big deal out of it when I had a cold before, why now?"

"I couldn't do anything about it before, so I tried to distract you. Besides, I don't think this is a cold. Your fever is really high." Lily's voice was tense with worry.

"It is. I don't think I'm qualified to handle this. Should I take you to Mungo's, or should I call Cousin Andromeda? She's a Healer."

"Andy, I guess. I don't need the hospital."

Lily and Regulus exchanged looks before he moved to the floo. While he spoke indistinctly, Lily brushed her hand across Harry's cheek. The shivering he'd barely been controlling increased, and she pulled back. Regulus had just turned away from the fireplace and saw how cold he seemed to be. A summoning spell later, a blanket was wrapped around Harry's shoulders. Minutes later, Andromeda came through the floo with a small Healer's bag.

"What's going on then?"

"Fever of 39.4, chills, dizziness, lack of appetite, and a sore throat," Regulus rattled off.

Andromeda nodded, and ran a diagnostic spell. "An infection in his lungs. Pepper up potion will help with the symptoms, but I can't cure it magically. Rest and a good diet with plenty of fluids will help his body fight it off faster."

"I'll take him upstairs to the guest room and lay him down. What was Sirius thinking sending you when you're so sick?"

"We haven't actually seen Sirius today," Lily replied. Harry was allowing himself to be led by the arm now, and ignoring the adults' conversation. 

"I'll send an owl to my brother, then. Harry's tutoring this afternoon will have to be canceled too. He can rest here until someone comes to pick him up."

"Thank you, Regulus," Lily said emphatically.

"Of course. He's family, Lily." Privately, Lily thought that family didn't mean enough to some people and Regulus would know that. She accepted his reasoning, though, as she watched him tuck her son into bed. "I'll have Kreacher make soup for lunch. If you need anything before then, call him or me. Just rest for now, Harry."

Harry nodded, already drifting to sleep, and Regulus went to send word of the illness to Sirius.

 

Harry slept fitfully until Regulus woke him, holding a bowl of soup. Harry was surprised that his uncle hadn't just sent the food with the house elf, but Lily was glad that he brought it. Kreacher wouldn't have woken Harry up, and he needed to eat. Only half the bowl was gone when Harry set it aside, but it was something. 

"Sirius and Remus are both caught up with something at the Ministry, which is why they were gone this morning. They'll come get Harry as soon as it's handled, and promised they'd contact his other tutor."

"What's happening at the Ministry?"

"My brother didn't say."

"Well, thank you Regulus."

Regulus gave her a look that asked why she kept thanking him for showing a sick child basic decency. Lily answered with a look that said this wasn't something Harry had ever had before. She wasn't sure Regulus picked up on the full meaning of her look, but Harry was already drifting to sleep again and she wasn't about to speak and startle him awake. Regulus seemed to understand enough, anyway, and took the bowl with him when he left the room.

 

It was nearly five o'clock when Sirius and Remus arrived, and Regulus told them to stay for dinner. He'd already asked Kreacher to make something Harry could stomach, so they might as well let him sleep and eat before taking him home. They ate by Harry's bed.

"So, what kept you all day?" Harry asked his dad in a valiant attempt at sounding normal.

Sirius pulled a page from that day's newspaper from his pocket. "I found the rat," he said as he showed the picture. It was the Weasley family in Egypt, with Ron's pet rat on his shoulder.

"Sorry?"

"That's Wormtail. I'd recognize his animagus form anywhere, and he's even missing a toe."

Lily seemed to realize, then. "All they found of him was a finger."

Sirius nodded gravely. "So we spent the whole day at the Ministry, first trying to convince them that this wasn't a standard rat. It didn't work until they called Arthur in and asked how long they'd had him. Twelve years is much longer than any rat, even a wizard's familiar, could live. Then they sent a team of Aurors out to the Burrow, me included, and of course a trainee let him escape. We spent the rest of the day putting out alerts, giving descriptions, and such."

Harry hadn't followed much of what his dad said. His brain felt like it was covered in fog. He did understand that the Ministry was finally looking for the man who'd betrayed his parents and gotten his dad sent to Azkaban, though. He smiled a bit, his eyes threatening to close again.

"Let's get you home, kiddo. Maybe give you a pepper up so you can stay awake for a few hours this evening. You'll want to be able to sleep at night, too."

The sick thirteen-year-old nodded, but made no move to get out of the bed. Remus chuckled, and lifted him into his arms. If the man weren't a werewolf or if the child weren't still small for his age, it wouldn't have been manageable. As it was, he carried the dozing teen to the floo and let Regulus handle the powder. 

 

Back at Blackwood, Harry dutifully took the potion and let himself be tucked into bed. His head clearer than it had been all day, he spent the evening doing the practice assignments for his language studies before falling back to sleep around ten. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone else who isn't familiar with Celsius, anything over 38 is cause for concern. 39.4 C is about 103 F. I've always been taught that 104 means you should proceed immediately to the hospital, so Harry's fever is pretty dang high.


	10. Dementors and Defense Professors

Harry stayed in bed for three days before he was well enough to resume his tutoring. During that time, when he wasn't sleeping, he studied the Slytherin journals and his magical theory texts, read books that Tippy fetched from the library, practiced his languages, and talked with Mehen and his mum. Even so, he was thoroughly sick of these four walls when he was finally deemed well enough to resume his tutoring.

 

At his first meal with Sirius and Remus since getting sick, he found out that the Auror office had made no progress on finding Pettigrew. Until he was found, Aurors would be patrolling all major wizarding locations. Harry wasn't sure how well they would do at finding a single rat, but maybe they had a better method of detection that he didn't know about.

"What if they don't find him before school starts? Term is only three weeks away, will there be Aurors at Hogwarts?"

Sirius' face took on a dark look. "They'll be posting dementors at the school."

" _What?"_ Harry and Lily asked together. "That is absolutely insane, Sirius," Lily continued.

"I told them that." Harry noticed a haunted look in his dad's eyes. "Dementors probably won't even notice him as a rat anyway, and they're bloody awful to be around."

Lily almost regretted her sharp words - Sirius knew better than anyone how insane this plan was - but this was her son's school and she was more angry than anything else. "Whose plan was this? If you say the headmaster, I will find a way to kill him."

"No, he argued against it. Minister Fudge. He spent so long refusing to do anything about the rat that now he's over-correcting."

Lily's head dropped into her hands. "I had hoped you'd say it was Albus. I might have been able to talk some sense into  _him_. I can't do anything about Fudge's idiocy."

"Has there been any  _good_ news while I've been sick?" Harry cut in. His Mum and Dad (and wasn't  _that_ a weird thought) were only going to get more upset.

"I have good news!" Remus announced, apparently thinking the same thing that Harry had. "I've been offered the Defense professorship at Hogwarts."

"Really?" Harry asked excitedly.

"Remus, that's so great!" Lily enthused. Distraction successful. Remus went on to tell them that he'd been asked partially so that he could be an extra set of eyes that might recognize Pettigrew if he were in the castle, and that Professor Snape would be covering for him when the full moons interfered with teaching. They had to be discreet about Remus' condition, of course. There were no  _laws_ against a werewolf working at a school, but most of the parents would throw a fit if they knew. 

"What are you going to teach?" Harry asked. He hadn't had the chance to like DADA with Quirrell or Lockhart, but Remus would be a fantastic teacher.

"I expect with your year I'll focus on Dark creatures - teach what you know and all. I'm thinking for the first lesson, we'll tackle boggarts. The castle has them all the time, so I'll be able to make it an interesting practical."

"What's a boggart?"

Lily answered. "It's a shapeshifter that turns into whatever a person fears most."

Harry paled, wondering what he feared most.  _I'm afraid of everything,_ he thought.  _I have anxiety._

"Facing your fears won't be that bad, Pup. Besides, everyone will be in the same boat."

"That just makes it worse!" Harry exclaimed. "I don't want my entire year to know what I fear most at the same time that I do."

Remus seemed to think that over. "Well, you might be a special case. I could let you do that practical outside of class if you wanted."

Harry shook his head. "Then everyone will just think you don't think I can face the boggart, and most of them will know that I know you. Besides, I don't know if everyone else will want the whole class to know their fears either. At least not the Slytherins, we're pretty private people."

"You have a point, pup,"

Remus seemed disappointed, and Harry wanted to fix that. "We should just go one at a time and have the line in the hallway, so no one else has to see our boggarts," he offered."

"Well, facing a boggart on your own isn't advised, because they're more powerful if they can focus. Do you think you could each choose a partner you trust and do it two at a time?"

Harry thought about his group of friends - four people made nice pairs - Ron and Neville could partner, Malfoy's group had four people too. The rest of the class he didn't know about, but he figured it would probably work out. Decisively, he nodded. Remus grinned again, and Harry's guilt eased.

 

They went to Diagon Alley that weekend, meeting up with Blaise there. Shopping was uneventful, and afterwards they got ice cream from Fortescue's. 

"So the Defense professor this year must be decent. The book they've ordered is a good one," Blaise said. Harry grinned conspiratorially at Remus, who couldn't help but smile.

"I'm glad you think so," the werewolf said. "I hope I don't disappoint."

"It's  _you_?"

Remus chuckled. "You don't have to sound so surprised, Blaise. I have my Mastery in the subject, and fought in a war."

"Fair enough, Professor Lupin."

 

In the last week before term started, Harry set up arrangements with his tutors for continuing his summer education during the school year. He was all caught up with the Potter family tutoring, and wouldn't need to do anything for it until next summer when he'd have weekly sessions. Tony would be coming to the school on Friday afternoons when Harry had a free period to teach him Magical Theory, and once a month on a Saturday he'd floo to Grimmauld Place to meet Regulus and continue his Black family tutoring. He'd managed to get through about two years of it this summer, but given that he was supposed to have started when he was seven they couldn't afford a break. Harry would also have one Saturday appointment each month with Agim. A third weekend a month was Hogsmeade - after some serious deliberation about the risks his Dad had agreed to sign the slip as long as he promised not to wander off on his own in the village - meaning Harry would be pretty busy this term.

Harry's language skills had progressed well, and he hoped to find some practice partners at school. He was fairly certain one of his housemates a year below spoke Spanish. Very small doses of Wit Sharpening Potion had helped Harry learn faster (a full dose wouldn't allow him to learn anything new while on the potion, but a few drops would increase reasoning skills and memory) and he was at least conversational in both of the living languages he'd studied. In Latin, he was recognizing the roots of the spells they cast as well as English and Spanish. 

 

Harry hugged his Dad goodbye in King's Cross after the best summer he'd ever had - despite intensive tutoring, illness, therapy, and the fiasco with Pettigrew. He'd miss Blackwood, but he was still looking forward to going back to school. Remus was riding the train with them. Harry wasn't sure if that was intended to let him rest after last night's moon or if it was to look for Pettigrew, but he was fairly certain it would be  _used_ to rest. Remus looked dead on his feet.

Sharing a compartment with their professor was a bit odd for Harry's friends, but Harry was so happy to have his Uncle Remus at school that none of them complained. Within twenty minutes of boarding, the werewolf had dropped off to sleep and Harry assured them that he wouldn't wake if they talked. The train ride was business as usual, chatting and eating sweets, until about thirty minutes before they were due to arrive at school.

The train stopped. The third years in the compartment looked around with a mixture of fear and confusion, wondering what happened. None of them had ever heard of the Express breaking down or making extra stops, it was a magical train. One by one, lights started to go out and the air chilled. Harry found himself wondering what the point of living was, which wasn't a thought he could remember having before. All he knew was it felt like happiness was impossible. The compartment door slid open to reveal a tall figure in a frayed, hooded cloak. Harry thought he should know what it was, but couldn't place it. Vernon's belt stung on his back. The walls of the compartment closed in on him until it felt like his cupboard. Distantly, he could hear his mum's voice. Was she- casting a spell? Ghosts couldn't do magic. Suddenly, everything went black.

Lily panicked when her son hit the ground. She tried to shock him awake, but nothing worked. Either the commotion or the dementor itself roused Remus from his sleep, and he stood. "None of us is hiding Peter Pettigrew in our cloaks. Go," he said. Then, he cast a spell and a large silver wolf came from his wand and pushed the dementor away. He closed the compartment door, and handed out bits of chocolate to the stunned kids. "Eat that, it'll help. _Rennervate._ "

The spell shocked Harry awake. "Is everyone alright? What happened? Mum, you were screaming, or- or-."

"Shh, baby, it's okay. Everyone's okay. That was a dementor."

"Oh." Harry looked down and saw that his hands were shaking. He took a calming draught, which helped a bit. It didn't seem to do as much as usual, though. Maybe he was getting too used to them?

"Have some chocolate, Harry. It helps," Remus told him. The chunk he gave to Harry was considerably larger than what he gave any of the others. Harry had to be prodded into taking a bite twice more, but as soon as he did his body warmed up.

"Why was there a dementor here?" Daphne asked.

"I expect they were looking for Pettigrew," Lily replied absently. "Bloody Fudge and his stupid ideas. Are you okay, Harry?"

"Fine, Mum. Really."

The rest of the ride was quieter. Remus went to speak to the driver, and the kids changed into their school robes just in time to arrive at the station. None of Harry's friends mentioned his fainting spell to anyone, to his relief. You could always trust the discretion of Slytherins.

 

After the welcoming feast, Headmaster Dumbledore made an announcement warning students away from the dementors. It made Lily start grumbling under her breath again about the idiocy of this plan. Harry felt like a warning shouldn't be necessary after meeting the one on the train, but maybe some of the other students needed it. He moved around in a daze that evening, and when they were finally released and made it to the Slytherin dorms he was the first one asleep.


	11. Fog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is potentially triggering. Features suicidal ideation and an attempt. Harry's descent into depression is rapid, potentially unrealistically so, but remember that he has always been emotionally fragile and had low self-esteem. It's just manifested as anxiety until now. Then in the space of two days he's faced with creatures that make him relive his worst moments and show him his greatest fears. Not a good combination for a child who is already on the wrong side of healthy, not to mention 13 and impulsive.
> 
> Take care of yourself.

Harry woke up the next day tired. It wasn't like when he was sick - there were no aches or dizziness - but getting out of bed seemed like an impossible task. He considered just lying there all day. It was the first day of classes. Professor Snape would take no excuses. He had to go to class, and he had to go to breakfast first to get his schedule.

 

Harry was the last to arrive at breakfast that day, after nearly forgetting to go to the hospital wing for his potions. His mum had to remind him. His brain was fuzzy, like the fog outside had found its way in. He relied on acting skills he hadn't used since first year to keep his friends from asking questions. Lily noticed the mask fall into place, she always did, and she frowned and tried to engage her son in conversation. He gave short responses, and picked at his food.

 

They had Defense that day. It was the only class Harry could clearly remember attending, the only one that broke through the fog. On some level he realized this wasn't normal. He considered asking his mum or his friends for help, but what could they do?

Remus took them to the teacher's lounge, where he'd found a boggart. As promised, he told them to pair up with someone they trusted and come in in pairs to face it. Harry and Theo went last, but he was so lost in thought that the minutes they waited seemed like nothing. Theo didn't notice, busy gearing himself up to face his worst fear. From the outside, anyone would assume Harry was doing the same thing. The fog wouldn't let him think.

Their turn came. Theo's boggart became his father, holding a baby boy and telling him he'd been replaced. Theo turned the baby into a doll, his father's vitriol now the ravings of a madman. Harry stepped up to face the boggart, his expression blank.

Sirius stood before him. Laughing, but not in the kind way he did after a joke. It was cruel laughter, directed at Harry. "I never wanted you," boggart-Sirius spit at him. "I should send you back where you belong. Your aunt and uncle had the right idea."

Harry cast  _ridikkulus_ but nothing happened. He couldn't find a way to make this funny. He tried again with the same results. Remus stepped in front of him and the boggart shifted into the moon. With a flick of his wand, it became a deflating balloon and was banished back into the cabinet.

"Harry?" he asked. Harry blinked away as much of the fog as he could and looked up at Remus. He smiled.

"I know that wouldn't happen, it's okay. I just couldn't come up with a way to make it a joke." The words were hollow, but he managed to put enough truth into his voice to fool the others in the room. Almost all of them, anyway. Lily tried to get Remus to look at her, to see that something was wrong today. Harry hadn't said a word to her since waking up. But Remus called the rest of the class in and awarded points for everyone who faced the boggart. When the class dismissed, Harry was first out of the room. 

 

At lunch, Harry didn't talk to his friends. The fog didn't leave room for conversation. The boggart's words found plenty of space, however, to echo around in his mind. The fact that they weren't real, that he knew intellectually that his Dad would never say that, didn't make it hurt less. 

 

In Potions, Harry stared dazedly at his knife. He didn't realize until Daphne's voice called him back to the present that he'd been imagining dragging it across his skin, opening his veins. He blinked away the fog as much as he could, focusing on his potion. It was harder than it had been earlier. The image of blood joined the words of hatred in his mind. It hurt worse than a knife ever could.

 

At dinner, Lily internally begged Harry's friends to notice what was wrong. She repeatedly tried to engage him in conversation, as did Daphne, Blaise, and Theo, but he was too lost in the fog to focus on their words. He smiled and nodded when it seemed appropriate, and though he wasn't fooling anyone none of them could imagine how dangerous this odd behavior was. 

 

It was the Slytherin's night to have astronomy. When Harry caught sight of the ground below the tower, the impulse gripped his foggy mind like a vice. After class ended, he waited for his roommates to fall asleep and grabbed his cloak. 

"Where are you going, Harry?"

"I just need to clear my head. Some fresh air." Harry couldn't decide if it was a lie or not, so he refused to feel guilty. There was indeed fresh air on the astronomy tower, and maybe he wouldn't jump. Or maybe the free fall would finally clear out the fog that only seemed to be getting thicker in his skull.

Lily was worried beyond belief. She continued trying to talk to him about where they were going, though he didn't answer, and stayed visible the whole walk. The world seemed to be working against her, as they crossed paths with no one. 

 

On the tower, Harry slipped off his cloak. He looked out over the grounds. It had been foggy all day. A result of the dementors, Harry remembered. He felt a bit like he had a dementor in his brain with the fog, dredging up every negative thought he'd ever had about himself and every bad thing that had happened to him. Distantly, he could hear his mother's frantic questions behind him. They echoed a voice in the back of his mind that didn't want him to do this, but the other thoughts were so loud at this point that he couldn't register her words. The wall on the tower was only waist high. Harry leaned out over it, the adrenaline beginning to cut through the fog. 

And then, he let go.

 

Harry was in free fall for only about two seconds. He hadn't thought long enough about his plans to realize that he wouldn't be the first person in the castle's thousand year history to try this, or to fall accidentally. The wall was so low. There were wards to prevent any living thing falling to their death here, and they caught Harry and deposited him on the floor of the tower, locked in a full-body bind. An alarm in the infirmary sent Madame Pomfrey running. Lily was sobbing, though she couldn't produce tears, a mixture of grief that she hadn't stopped this and relief that the wards had. 

When Madame Pomfrey arrived, she was less shocked than she wanted to be by the identity of the jumper. A diagnostic spell showed no injuries, and no potions in his system besides the ones she gave him at breakfast. She spelled a dreamless sleep directly into Harry's stomach and waited until his eyes closed to cancel the paralyzing spell. "We'll help him, Lily."

As she levitated the sleeping teen to the hospital wing and spoke soothing words to the hysterical ghost that accompanied them, Poppy made a list of people to contact. Severus, Sirius, St. Mungo's. It would be up to Harry and Sirius if anyone else saw him. She settled him into the bed in a private room set aside for cases that required constant monitoring. A door led directly to her own bedroom. Once he was lying comfortably, she removed his wand from his pocket and searched for anything else that could be used to cause injury. His potions knife was in his pocket. 

Before leaving to send word to the others, she turned to the boy'smother one more time. "We _will_ help him, Lily."


	12. Suicide Watch

Harry woke up slowly, the sterile smell reminding him of the infirmary. His suspicions were confirmed as Madame Pomfrey bustled in the moment he opened his eyes.

"Good morning, Mr. Potter. How are you feeling?" Harry just shrugged. "Any different from yesterday?" He shook his head no. "Have you felt like you did yesterday before?" Another head shake. "Mr. Potter, I need to confirm. Did you jump from the tower intentionally?" A pause, and then a nod.

Madame Pomfrey held back a sigh. Harry wasn't the first patient she'd had refuse to speak after a suicide attempt, but it was always easier when they cooperated. She was careful to keep her voice kind, despite her frustration. "We need to keep you on suicide watch, then. We've confiscated your wand and potion knife, so that you can't hurt yourself, and this door is warded to only let you out in an emergency. The first step of the suicide watch protocol is line of sight, which means that someone always has to be able to see you." She glanced at Lily, like people tended to do when they were about to say she didn't count. "Someone living, who could stop you if you put yourself in danger. This includes when you use the bathroom, unfortunately. It isn't a punishment, but a temporary safety precaution. If you do well today, we can move to regular checks tomorrow. Now, Sirius is here and would like to see you. I'm going to let him in." Harry nodded again.

Madame Pomfrey spoke quietly with Sirius in the doorway before he came in and sat in the chair next to Harry's bed. "Hey kiddo." Harry still didn't respond. "Poppy called me in the middle of the night, I was so worried." Harry glanced at his dad from under his hair. "I've told the Ministry I'm not coming in today. I needed to see for myself that you were in one piece so I've been here all night."

"You'll need to speak with someone about this for awhile before you're able to leave the hospital wing. Madame Pomfrey and Snape both have experience with this, but if you'd prefer Healer Shabani he's already agreed to come here once a day to see you as soon as I confirm that's what you want." Harry nodded. "You'd prefer your Healer?" Another nod. "Okay. I'll send for him when we're done here. You'll try to actually talk to him?"

"Yeah," Harry whispered. His voice was rough from sleep. Sirius seemed to sag in relief at the sound of it. "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I just- it seemed like a good idea at the time. I couldn't stop thinking about it."

Sirius pulled Harry into a hug. "Just promise me you'll work with Healer Shabani and get better. I can't lose you, Harry." The contrast between his dad's words and the boggart's yesterday brought tears to Harry's eyes as he clung to his dad. "I love you, kiddo."

"I love you too, Dad," Harry choked out. The two sat quietly a few more minutes before Sirius excused himself to contact Agim.

Professor Snape replaced him, bringing along a stack of books. "These are for you, " he said as he placed all but one on the side table. "The boredom is arguably the worst part of being on suicide watch." Harry thought for a moment that it sounded like the professor was speaking from experience, but didn't ask. He was surprised to see that the books weren't textbooks, but well-loved copies of both muggle and magical fiction books. There was also a blank journal, a self-help workbook, and a muggle felt tip pen. "I've been informed that you plan to talk with your established Mind Healer. That is a prudent choice, as he is accustomed to your previous experiences with mental health and therapy. However, you may still speak to me informally if you wish, as you occasionally did last summer."

"Thank you, sir," Harry whispered as he picked up a copy of  _Tales of Beedle the Bard._

 

The professor ate lunch with Harry and didn't press him to speak. Harry had slept through breakfast and it hadn't occurred to him to ask for something, so he ate eagerly. 

"I am glad your appetite is unaffected. Did you get enough to eat?" Harry nodded. "Very well. Your Mind Healer is here. Madame Pomfrey will sit with you after he leaves. Do you need to use the restroom before I go?"

Harry blushed, but nodded. He had yet to get out of bed, and the need to pee was getting hard to ignore. Relieving himself in front of the professor was difficult, but Snape averted his eyes and remained as unobtrusive as possible.

 

"Hello, Harry."

"Hi."

"We're going to start today with some of the same things I asked you when you first started seeing me, as suicide isn't a concern I've been treating you for and I need to know where you are mentally to know how to proceed." Harry nodded, and Agim took him through a depression inventory. Afterwards, he asked, "Did anything out of the ordinary happen before this change?

Harry just shrugged at first, but after thinking a moment he replied, "There was a dementor on the train. I kinda feel like it never left."

Healer Shabani nodded. "I think what happened is that you were already at risk for depression, given your past trauma and self-esteem issues, and contact with the dementor introduced the concept to your brain."

They talked another few minutes about Harry's thoughts and feelings leading up to jumping from the tower, and then their time was up. "I want you to use that journal and workbook from Professor Snape as much as you are able. I'll see you again tomorrow."

Harry nodded, and Agim was replaced by Madame Pomfrey. Harry tried to read, but found he couldn't keep his eyes open. Before he knew it, he was being woken up for dinner.

After dinner, Remus took a turn sitting with Harry. He clearly wanted to talk, but Harry didn't know what to say. He didn't want to keep repeating what he'd told everyone else who babysat him today, so he started on the workbook. 

 

The next morning, Harry woke up to Professor Snape's face. "Good morning, Mr. Potter. How are you feeling?"

"Okay, I guess."

"Are you having any thoughts like the ones that led you to the astronomy tower?"

"No, sir."

"I'm glad to hear it. We've decided it's safe to take you off line of sight protocol, which means now you'll be checked on every twenty minutes or so. It also means you may have privacy to use the restroom or shower. I am going to spend an hour with you in the mornings in case you want to talk, and Healer Shabani will continue to see you after lunch. If you wish, you may also have other visitors."

"Not yet," Harry replied. Professor Snape nodded as if he expected that answer. They didn't talk, but Harry did write in his journal. When the professor left, he took a quick shower before the first check. 

At his appointment with Agim that afternoon, they discussed ways to interrupt a destructive train of thought before getting to the point of following through with it. At the end, the healer told Harry he was prescribing an antidepressant potion daily. Harry wouldn't be able to take a calming draught for a couple hours after having it because they could interact, but it was unlikely he'd need to as the antidepressant would even out his emotions. Harry realized then that he hadn't had a calming potion since the train. He wasn't getting a supply of them with breakfast like usual, but they'd probably give him one if he asked when someone checked on him. He'd been too numb to worry.

 

Harry's third day in the hospital wing, he started the antidepressant and finished the workbook. The checks came less often, but no one told him the new interval, and he didn't have his wand to check the time. 

 

The fourth day, Harry actually talked to Professor Snape in the morning. First, it was to ask if the rest of the school knew what he did. Only his friends knew, and they were asking after him constantly. The rest of the school just thought he was sick. He sighed in relief. After a moment, he asked a question that had been on his mind for awhile.

"Will I always need the antidepressant potion and all of these strategies to be okay, or will this go away?"

"For some people, the need lessens over time. For many, it doesn't. I myself have been on an antidepressant potion since I was fifteen." Harry physically startled when his professor volunteered personal information. "As for the coping strategies, you get used to them and they become second nature. If you find in a few weeks that they are still so necessary that it's disrupting your life, Healer Shabani may increase your dose of the potion." Harry nodded, then bit his lip and wondered if his next question was appropriate. Snape noticed. "You may ask anything you want while I am here with you, if you think knowing the answer will help you."

"Even if it's personal?"

"Even then."

"Okay. On my first day here, when you mentioned boredom you sounded like you were talking from experience. Were you?"

Snape sighed heavily. "Indeed. I've been in your position twice. The first time was when I was in fifth year, and the second was when I was nineteen."

"So, even after you had the potion?"

"Yes. Antidepressant potions are a treatment, not a cure."

"So how do you keep from wanting to do it again?"

"Are you thinking about doing it again?"

"Not- not exactly. But I'm worried about when I leave here. Here it's easy not to think about it."

"Because you are being so closely monitored that it would be impossible even if you wanted to, and because you have nothing to worry about but your health."

"Exactly."

"It is more difficult when you leave. After my first attempt, I looked for people to lean on. I found them in the wrong place and it ultimately led to my second attempt, but the concept is sound. The second time, I threw myself into protecting and helping others to absolve the guilt that led me to the point of suicide."

Harry nodded. "I expect I'll be going back to weekly appointments with Agim. I didn't tell anyone what I was thinking because I didn't think they could help. I guess that was stupid."

"Perhaps a bit, but it is easy to feel that way. Depression tends to make us feel isolated, like no one could understand or care enough to try."

"Yeah. But that isn't true."

"Remember that when you leave here, Mr. Potter, and you'll do well."

 

The fifth day, the new potion started working in earnest. Harry had more energy, and was finally interested in seeing his friends. They came after his appointment with Agim, and Harry was pretty sure they were missing classes. Before he could even say hello, Daphne had her arms around him in a breathtakingly tight hug. After they told him how worried they were, and Harry apologized for worrying them, they chatted about classes and different theories like everything was normal. Harry was glad to see they weren't treating him differently.

Harry's friends also brought him his makeup assignments, which he was assured wouldn't be expected right after his release but he got right to work on anyway. He didn't have anything better to do.

 

On the sixth day since Harry's suicide attempt, Agim told him that if he was feeling as well the next morning as he was that day then he would be free to go. Harry smiled. He was more than ready, in his opinion. He'd read every book he'd been given, and was going stir crazy. 

 

When Harry was in fact released the next morning, his friends met him at the hospital wing to walk to lunch together. He thought to himself how lucky he was to have them. He was going to be okay.


	13. Readjusting

Overall, Harry's transition back to classes was smooth. True to Professor Snape's word, the school did not know about his suicide attempt. His friendly acquaintances throughout the school grinned to see him on his feet again, telling him they were glad he was well again. He thanked them as genuinely as he could, thinking to himself that he wasn't entirely better. Morning trips to the Hospital Wing meant one more potion now, but the trips themselves were nothing new. His make up assignments were essentially finished, and his first day back to classes was a Friday so he would have the weekend to do the ones that weren't.

 

When Hermione accosted Harry in the hallway outside Transfiguration - the first class he had with the Ravenclaws - he felt a stab of guilt. 

"Harry James Potter! I was so worried about you! You were in quarantine? I couldn't even visit, what was wrong?" Hermione asked question after question without pausing for him to answer, scolding in her voice, then immediately her face softened and she pulled him into a hug so tight he could hardly breathe.

Harry had assumed his non-Slytherin friends knew what was happening, but apparently he'd been wrong. He supposed they wouldn't have thought to go to his Head of House to ask, or maybe Professor Snape hadn't been sure they could be trusted. When he was released from her grip, he smiled sheepishly. "I'm sorry, Hermione. I thought you at least knew what was happening. I don't really want to talk about it." her face fell, and his hesitation dissolved. She cared about him, she could know the truth. "Not here. I'll tell you after classes, we'll find somewhere private to talk." 

Hermione seemed to look for the truth in his eyes before nodding her acceptance and going into the classroom. They were almost late.

 

When Harry told her, she shouted. When she saw the look it brought to his face, she cried. After nearly an hour of assuring her he was being taken care of and wasn't planning on trying again, she hugged him as tightly as she had before Transfiguration and held on twice as long. They walked to dinner together.

Harry decided not to tell Ron or Neville, and Hermione agreed to keep the secret. Telling her had been difficult enough, and the two boys were Gryffindors. Maybe he was thinking in stereotypes, but Harry was sure telling them would be even more emotional. And while they would never  _mean_ to betray his secrets, Gryffindors were not known for their subtlety or level-headedness. Lily couldn't even bring herself to be offended. Remus' lycanthropy was the only secret she'd ever known her Gryffindor friends to keep. 

 

On Saturday, Harry had his appointment with Healer Shabani. It had been decided that his weekly Mind Healer's appointments would be immediately after breakfast on Saturdays so that he could have the rest of the day free to study the Black family traditions, go to Hogsmeade, or to relax. Agim asked him about his stress levels going back to classes, the effectiveness of the antidepressant potion, and if he had had any thoughts of hurting himself. Harry admitted that while he didn't feel nearly as bad as he had before, his thoughts had been dark. Agim let Harry speak freely of the negative things he'd been thinking, and then reminded him of the coping strategies he'd learned while hospitalized once his mind was unburdened.

Harry lamented that things seemed to be worse when he was outside, closer to the dementors, and Agim told him that was normal. While most of his classmates would not feel the presence of the creatures from the courtyards, people with depression tended to be more susceptible to their abilities. It did make it difficult to enjoy quidditch practice on Friday night.

"Is there anything a person can do about them?"

Agim almost grimaced at Harry's question. "The only spell to defend against dementors is the Patronus charm, which summons a guardian animal made from pure happiness to drive them away. I have to be honest with you, though, Harry. I don't think you're in a place right now to learn it. The Patronus charm is extremely high level magic - most people don't even learn it while they attend Hogwarts - and requires the caster to be able to summon almost euphoric levels of happiness at will."

"So there's nothing I can do that will make them hurt me less?"

At Harry's crestfallen look, Healer Shabani considered him closely. "There is a second defense, one that isn't a spell. It's also very difficult magic, but it doesn't require an emotional charge and I think you have the patience to achieve it. Have you heard of Occlumency?"

"No, what's that?"

"Occlumency is the magic of guarding your mind. It's primarily a defense against Legilimency, which is the magic of entering someone else's mind, but it also has other applications. Someone who becomes a practiced Occlumens will generally have better emotional control, and someone who is extremely skilled can use it to defend against certain compulsion-based potions and spells. It also weakens the effects of mind-altering auras, like those of veela and dementors."

Harry's eyes were wide. "How do I learn it?"

"It's best to start with meditation, especially when your mind is as difficult of a place as yours is now. I'll loan you a book, as the mind arts are only found in the Restricted Section at Hogwarts. Once you've mastered the meditations, you'll need to find a Legilimens that you trust to help you practice building your shields."

"How will I find one? Are you a Legilimens?"

"I'm not. However, how is your relationship with Professor Snape?"

 

Harry took the book through the floo at the end of the session. Professor Snape raised his eyebrows when he saw the title, but didn't comment. Harry began on the meditations that night, finding he had difficulty holding a clear mind for even a few seconds. Theo saw the book and told him he'd started learning Occlumency recently, and he'd struggled with the meditations too. "You get better," Theo assured his friend.

 

Harry had agreed to have tea on Sunday with Remus, and was surprised to find his dad in the Defense office as well.

"I just wanted to see you, kiddo," was his only explanation. His face was raw with emotion when he said it, and Harry understood well enough that he didn't dig deeper. Sirius had been regretful in his letters that he hadn't been able to make it back to visit while Harry was hospitalized. The Ministry didn't consider confinement to the Hogwarts infirmary to be true hospitalization, and had denied Sirius' requests for extra time off to visit his son. Sirius confessed he'd thought about quitting, and while Harry was warmed that his dad would do something like that for him, he was glad it didn't happen. Sirius was needed in the Auror department with Wormtail running free. Tea was pleasant, filled with jokes between the three adults in the room that Harry was content to listen to for hours, and Harry felt lighter afterwards. The light feeling carried into the evening, and Harry found the meditations a bit easier with less weight on his mind.

 

Harry didn't talk to Ron until Potions on Monday, and stood firm in his decision not to tell the Gryffindors how he'd been "sick". Instead, Harry asked about Scabbers. Ron had been horrified when he'd found out that his pet rat, who'd slept in his bed, was actually a man. Not to mention a Death Eater. Unfortunately, Scabbers had run away just after the news had broken. Apparently, he heard he was being hunted.

 

On Tuesday, Harry had to ask Professor Snape for a note for Herbology. It was the last class of the day, but Harry found himself completely exhausted. The night before had been their midnight Astronomy lesson, and the dark thoughts were overwhelming his sleep-deprived brain. Professor Snape surprised Harry by offering him a cup of herbal tea and a place to rest on the sofa in his quarters. When Harry asked, the professor told him that he had a free period and felt better if Harry wasn't alone after admitting to struggling so much. Harry gratefully accepted while his mum smiled sweetly behind him. 

 

Blaise had a girlfriend by the end of that week. Harry was surprised, but apparently he was the only one. The girl was a Ravenclaw in their year, Padma Patil, and the two were found snogging in the courtyards on Friday afternoon. Daphne gushed about the "tension" that had been between the two since late last spring, leaving Harry even more confused. A letter to his dad didn't help much - Sirius only wrote back saying how easy it was to fall for someone at their age and how great snogging was once you'd tried it. Harry felt mildly disgusted at the thought.

 

Harry talked to his mum more in his first week back than he had in ages. Lily was incredibly grateful that he was making an effort to talk to her. After the silence she'd been faced with leading up to (and following) her son attempting suicide, it was a balm for her heart to make conversation with him again.


	14. Halloween 1993

September and October flew by once Harry had gotten used to attending classes again. He was happy with his elective choices, even though Professor Snape hadn't been kidding about the two being a lot of hard work when paired together. Harry was used to hard work, and Arithmancy especially was very interesting. Harry had more of a grounding in math than his wizard-raised classmates, so he was prepared to use it to calculate real-world possibilities for the future and the effects of spells. Once word got out about this, he became the person to go to for help in Slytherin house. Hermione was in both of his electives with him, so Harry was a bit confused when she was talking about the hippogriff incident in Care of Magical Creatures as if she'd been there. Blaise and Daphne were both in Care, but neither was actually friends with Hermione and couldn't tell him if she'd been there. Maybe she'd changed her electives while Harry was in the hospital wing?

Harry continued to make progress with the Occlumency meditations, sometimes with Theo's help. He always found it easier on good days, and decided he'd keep practicing until he could meditate just as well on a bad day before asking Professor Snape for help. If the Occlumency was meant to help him manage his depression, then it wouldn't do much for him if he couldn't manage it while he was depressed.

Lily kept a close eye on her son, as did his friends. All of them were careful not to treat him differently, for which he was grateful. He was also grateful to know that he could talk to them when things were difficult.

 

The first Hogsmeade weekend of the year was the day before Halloween, which fell on Sunday. Harry was already slipping into the melancholy that the day always brought around, and told Agim during their morning session that he wasn't sure he wanted to go. Agim was visibly worried.

"Grief is, of course, normal, and everyone grieves in their own way. I am concerned, however, because I don't want you to retreat into yourself and wallow in it. It could trigger another depressive episode, and you need to be able to lean on your support system."

Harry nodded, and after a few moments of thought agreed to  _try_ to go to the village and enjoy it.

 

On the way to the entrance hall with Blaise, Daphne, and Theo, Harry was caught by the arm and pulled into an alcove. Before he could react, a hand was over his mouth keeping him from screaming. The amused look in his mum's eyes calmed him enough to prevent a panic attack, though his heart was still racing. 

"Hello, little snake," said a familiar voice.

"We've come-"

"To pay our debt."

Harry was released, and turned around to see the Weasley twins. It took him a moment to remember that they'd acknowledged a debt to him for saving their sister last year.

"What do you plan to do to pay it, besides scaring the pants off me?"

One of the twins - Fred? - had the decency to look sheepish about their methods. The other just looked smug. "We've decided to give you-"

"the secret to our success."

"A sneaky snake-"

"like you-"

"would certainly benefit from the tool that has let us move around the castle-"

"undetected since our second year."

"Okay?" Harry replied. He was intrigued, but wasn't sure if whatever they would give him could be better than his invisibility cloak.

"It's a great hardship-"

"for us to give it up-"

"but certainly worth dear Ginny's life."

The smug twin pulled a folded piece of parchment from his pocket and handed it to Harry. Harry unfolded it, and it was blank. Was this-

A wand touched the parchment and the sheepish twin said the password, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

"The Marauder's Map!" Harry exclaimed excitedly. "How did you get it?"

"Nicked it from Filch's office," replied the sheepish twin.

"How do you know about the Marauder's Map?" the smug twin asked.

Harry grinned like he was about to let them in on a great secret. "I know the Marauders."

Both twins jaws dropped in identical expressions of shock. They tried to get more information out of him, but Harry wasn't about to give it up for free. He was about to leave to rejoin his friends when something occurred to him. "Wait- you said you've had this since your second year?"

"We have," replied both twins.

"And for the last two years, you never noticed your brother sharing a bed with Peter Pettigrew? And didn't Percy have him here before then?"

Now the smug twin looked sheepish, and the sheepish twin looked shocked. "Er-"

"Well-"

"We've never had much cause to watch dear Ronniekins sleep,"

"Still a bit surprising you never noticed, though, isn't it?" Harry shrugged and turned to walk away. "Hopefully if he's in the castle, I see him coming."

 

Hogsmeade was fun. The grief and the brain fog threatened a bit, but Harry threw himself into spending time with his friends and refused to let it overcome him. By the time the four friends returned to the castle, laden with Honeyduke's sweets and just a couple of Zonko's products, Harry was exhausted. After dinner, he did his meditations and went straight to bed with a book. He found, however, that he couldn't focus on either reading or sleep.

"Mum?"

"Yes, baby?"

"Do you know how the Marauders thought up the map?"

Lily thought for a moment, a gentle smile on her face. "I wasn't friends with them yet when they made it. Your father was still a giant toerag. I think it was Sirius' idea, and Remus did most of the research for the spells. Remus did most of the research for their pranks, too. If you want to know about the making of it, you should ask one of them. I  _can_ tell you how they lost it, though."

"How?"

"It was near the end of seventh year..." Lily continued to tell the story of the prank gone wrong, the one time the Marauders were truly caught in the act instead of just after the fact, which led to Filch confiscating thirty-two dungbombs, a box of wet-start fireworks, and the map and creating a new rule banning students swimming in the Black Lake. As the story came to a conclusion, Harry finally drifted to sleep to the calming sounds of his mum's voice.

 

The next day, Harry and Lily quietly kept to themselves as usual. Daphne, Blaise, and Theo sat with the pair in the courtyard, regularly renewing Harry's warming spells for him. That evening, he attended the Halloween feast. While it had been exhausting, spending time with his friends the day before had made him feel better and he hoped to continue the trend. Besides, skipping it last year for the Deathday party hadn't gone well. His mood is subdued through the festivities, but they pass without incident. 

 

Later, after the Slytherins had their yearly candle lighting ceremony and have gone to bed, Harry took out the Marauder's Map. Just holding that parchment gave him a connection to his father that he'd never had before, and he activated it and examined the dots. Everyone seemed to be in their dorms, which didn't surprise Harry. It was past patrols, so even the prefects had abandoned the halls. Dumbledore had taken to pacing in his office, and Harry wondered what he was thinking about.

Then, a movement near the entrance hall caught Harry's eye, and he nearly stopped breathing. There, a single dot moved into the castle.  _Peter Pettigrew._

"Mum. He's here. We've got to tell someone."

Lily bit her lip in thought. She wanted nothing more than for her son to stay in the dorms where he was safe. But then, the Marauders had made the map. They'd been in the Slytherin dorm room, so who was to say Pettigrew couldn't do it again? "Take your cloak, and go straight to Severus. Watch the map, and go quickly, baby."

Harry nodded, and silently dug his invisibility cloak out from his trunk. Lily faded out of sight while he followed the map to Professor Snape's private quarters, where the man was resting in his sitting room, and knocked on the portrait frame that guarded them. The door swung open in moments, and Professor Snape looked out at the empty hallway with a thunderous expression.

Harry pulled the hood of the cloak down to reveal his head. "Sir. He's here. Pettigrew is in the castle."

The Potions professor's eyes widened, and he pulled Harry inside so abruptly that Harry almost dropped the map. "How do you know this?" he hissed, as Lily became visible once again.

"I saw him on-" Harry hesitated, and Lily gestured for him to continue. "On my dad's map. It shows where anyone is in the castle."

Professor Snape nodded, not questioning Harry further about the map but clearly filing the knowledge away for later. He walked briskly to his fireplace and threw a handful of floo powder in. "Headmaster's office." Apparently not one for kneeling at the grate, the professor stepped through and left Harry alone in his quarters. Harry and Lily stood near the entrance in a tense silence for several minutes before he returned. "Put your hood back up and follow me," he said tersely. Harry obeyed, his mum once again staying out of sight. 

When they reached the common room, Professor Snape woke the prefects. "Wake the students, and tell them to go immediately to the Great Hall."

The six older students took their orders without question, and within ten minutes all of Slytherin house was being led through the corridors by their Head and prefects, traveling in a tight pack. No one dared ask what was happening to drag them out of bed.

 

In the Great Hall, the other houses were just arriving. The house tables were gone, and each student was given a hideous purple sleeping bag as they entered. Once the doors were closed, the Headmaster called for silence.

"Peter Pettigrew has been spotted within the castle," he said. Whispers broke out immediately, and several people gasped or squeaked in surprise. Dumbledore held up his hand until everyone was calm once again. "You will all sleep here under the watch of the prefects and head boy and girl. Professors will search the castle."

Several older Gryffindors tried to move to the door, but Professor McGonagall stopped them with a stern look. Harry, Theo, Daphne, and Blaise all set up their sleeping bags near the back of the hall, huddled close together. They didn't speak, but they also didn't sleep. 

When the professors returned unsuccessful, Harry wondered why Professor Snape hadn't asked to use the map and if it should have occurred to him to volunteer it. He looked at it again, scouring the castle, and found Pettrigrew nowhere on it. Sighing heavily, he tucked the map and his wand away again and tried to sleep. 


	15. Quidditch Interrupted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to Vivacia18, who has left nearly 40 comments on this series today and inspired me to write a new chapter before they caught up. Thank you for all your kind words, this one is for you!

The next morning, the Slytherin's first class was Potions with Gryffindor. Malfoy had bullied some of the Gryffindors into preparing his ingredients for him, blaming his injured arm from the first week of class, and Harry had to repress a snort. Malfoy had been healed for  _weeks,_ but still bandaged his arm every morning and moaned about the pain he was in to get special privileges. Once Harry had bottled his potion, which he thought he did well with today, Professor Snape told him to stay after class.

"Now that we know the Dementors cannot keep Pettigrew out of the castle, Mr. Potter, I am uncomfortable with you practicing Quidditch in the evenings with only the team present."

"But Sir, the first game is Saturday and we're against Gryffindor. I have to practice!"

"I am aware, Mr. Potter, and I would not allow us to lose to the Gryffindors. I have decided that I will supervise practices until another solution is reached. I have already informed Flint and the training schedule has been altered slightly to accommodate my attendance. I only wanted to inform you personally, as your safety is the primary reason for the change."

"Oh. Thank you, sir."

"You may go now, Mr. Potter."

Harry nodded and turned to leave, when he remembered something that had been bothering him. "Sir? Could I ask you about something?"

"You may."

"Healer Shabani suggested I learn Occlumency, to be less affected by the Dementors. He gave me a book of meditations to start with, but I've been having trouble with them. Mum taught me to meditate when I was little, so I was wondering why it was so much more difficult."

"Occlumency meditations are advanced. I assume your mother taught you only basic meditation?" His eyes flicked to Lily, who nodded behind her son. "The meditations that form the basis for Occlumency are more complex versions. What does the book instruct?"

"Well, the first meditation in the book was the same basic one I learned from Mum. I practiced that for about a week to work on my endurance, since I haven't meditated much since leaving my relatives' house. Then I moved on to one that asks you to organize your thoughts, and that's where I'm stuck. I keep getting caught up in the thoughts and losing my meditative state. I've been practicing that one for about five weeks now, and can still only manage it for about ten minutes. The book says I shouldn't move on to building shields until I'm at thirty minutes."

Professor Snape harrumphed quietly. "I understand that you are frustrated with your progress, but that is fairly impressive for someone your age without outside help. As young as you are, I would say fifteen minutes of this meditation would be adequate before you start building your shields. Organizing your thoughts is a lifelong process if you plan to continue Occlumency, and the book was likely written with adults in mind."

"Yes, sir. Thank you. Once I build my basic shields, Healer Shabani suggested I ask you for help testing and reinforcing them. Would you be able to do that?"

The professor thought for a moment. "I will not be able to dedicate much time to the task with my other responsibilities, but I do not know of another Legilimens in the school who I would trust with the safety of your mind and any secrets they may take from you. Once you've built your shields, we will arrange a weekly time to practice and you will be able to continue with the meditations between sessions."

"Yes, sir. Thank you."

"Of course, Mr. Potter. Now, go before you are late to your next class."

Harry nodded, and ran out the door to Charms.

 

The rest of the day passed normally. Harry sat with Neville in Charms and was able to help him refine his wand movements to improve his cheering charm. After lunch, Harry had Ancient Runes with Hermione and Theo. Hermione looked exhausted, as she did more and more lately, and had sequestered herself in the back of the room with a wall of books, so Harry sat with Theo while they studied the Elder Futhark alphabet. The last period of the day was History of Magic, where Harry studied a book on the history of Lords in the Wizengamot. In previous years Harry had always studied books that related to the curriculum, but he was already beginning to feel like he had read every useful book the library had on the Goblin Rebellions so he was moving on to history that would affect him personally.

At dinner, Harry got the new training schedule from Flint. They had switched from Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday which suited Harry well. Mondays were when the third years had their midnight Astronomy lessons, and Harry liked to take a nap after dinner to be awake for it. Monday training had been cutting into that rest.

 

The rest of the week flew by. On Thursday it started to rain, and by Saturday it was a veritable downpour. Flint gathered the team in the Slytherin common room that morning and told them he was considering using Malfoy's injury to postpone the game.

"Come on, Flint!" Harry exclaimed "We can beat them in this, easily. Malfoy's been fine, and keeper barely uses their arms anyways. I can out-seek the Gryffindor team in this!"

"You sure, Potter?"

"Absolutely. The Gryffindor seeker is okay, but I'm loads better. Plus, we have the better brooms. If we back out, they'll know why and think we're a weak team. Rumors that Malfoy is faking have been going around at least a week."

Flint nodded. "Fine, Potter. If we lose, it's on you."

"Isn't it anyways?" Harry said with good humor. "No offense to our chasers, but I don't think Hogwarts has had a game that wasn't decided by the snitch in decades."

The three chasers, Flint, Warrington, and the newly appointed Selwyn all conceded the point, and the team went to get into their uniforms.

 

Playing in the rain was miserable, and Harry was starting to regret pushing for it. The wind was so strong that it was difficult to keep his broom on course, and even with the charmed Quidditch goggles he'd gotten for Christmas last year he was struggling to see through the sheets of rain. Two hours in, Harry had only spotted the snitch once. The silver lining was that the Gryffindor seeker was having even more trouble. Flint called a time out for the team to rest a moment and renew warming charms, and they were back in the air. 

Almost immediately after getting back on his broom, Harry spotted the snitch about twenty meters away. He tore off after it, and the Gryffindor seeker followed. It almost got away again when both seekers had to duck a bludger, but Harry managed to keep his eye on the golden speck. As he approached, Harry suddenly felt a new kind of chill sweep through him.

It wasn't like the chill of the rain, and cut straight through the warming charm on his kit. Below, what amounted to a black cloud was moving across the pitch and Harry heard a scream. Pain, fear, and utter despair warred inside him and he realized the cloud was a swarm of dementors. 

 _"Where is the child?" asked a high, cold voice._ Harry shook his head, fighting desperately against the memories. _"You're too late," replied his mum in a shaking voice._ Too late for what? Have to get the snitch. _"He isn't here, the Order came and got him."_

_"You lie!" the first voice shouted again. "Tell me where he is and I'll spare your worthless life."_

_"Never," he heard his mum say confidently._ He heard his name being called frantically, but he couldn't figure out where it was coming from. 

_"Avada Kedavra!"_

_"Diffindo!"_

Multicolored light flashed behind Harry's eyes just before everything went black.

 

When Harry opened his eyes, he immediately recognized the hospital wing and his mum's worried face hovering over him. It took several moments for the events of the Quidditch game to come back to him, and he groaned. His body ached; his head was pounding. He looked to the side and saw Flint standing uncomfortably next to Harry's friends.

"What happened?"

Blaise looked grim. "Dementors. At least ten of them."

"I remember that bit," Harry replied.

"You fell off your broom! I thought you were going to die!" Daphne said in a hushed tone.

"Had to be at least fifty feet," Theo added. "Dumbledore used a spell to keep you from hitting the ground at full speed, but I think you still had a couple fractured ribs that Pomfrey had to fix."

"Okay, okay, but what about the  _game?_ " Harry asked.

Flint chuckled darkly. "I won't blame it on you, Potter. The Gryffindor seeker caught the snitch right after you fell, and they're calling it fair."

Harry scowled. "That's utter rubbish." The other Slytherins nodded in agreement. Now that Harry was awake, nothing felt worse than being cheated out of a victory against Gryffindor.

"One more thing, Potter. No one was able to get to your broom before the wind took it into the Whomping Willow."

Harry groaned and dropped his head back onto the pillow. "I don't imagine it survived that."

"No. Not much would."

Just then, Madame Pomfrey came into the room. "Out, all of you. Out! I need to tend to my patient." Once the door closed behind the four visiting Slytherins, the matron turned to Harry. "Now, Mr. Potter. How are you feeling?"

"Sore," was Harry's only reply. 

Madame Pomfrey handed him a pain potion, which he took gratefully. "What about mentally and emotionally?"

Harry shrugged a bit, made awkward by the fact that he was lying down. "Normal, I think. I did just wake up, though. It's hard to know."

Madame Pomfrey nodded. "I am going to be keeping you at least overnight for observation."

"What! Why?"

"Mr. Potter, given your last reaction to being exposed directly to a Dementor, it would be negligent of me to allow you to leave. Especially considering that was only one Dementor, and this was a swarm. You will be staying here overnight, and you will be seeing your Mind Healer before I allow you to leave. If he says you should stay longer, you will. Now, remind me of his name."

Harry scowled ferociously, but had to admit what she said made sense. "Healer Agim Shabani."

"Very well, I will contact him and arrange a time," Madame Pomfrey said before sweeping out of the room.

Harry turned to his mum, who was still visibly worried. "I get what she said. It makes sense. But couldn't she have given me a book or something?"

Lily chuckled, some of the frown lines on her face easing. "You're really alright, baby?"

Harry sat up. "Yeah, I mean, I think so. Bored, though."

She smiled, then. "Well, why don't I tell you a story about something, then."

 

Healer Shabani came the next morning. Over the course of a conversation, the two decided that Harry's depression was slightly worse than it had been the last time they spoke but not outside Harry's ability to cope. With that confirmation, Harry was released from the hospital wing and able to go back to his common room and his friends.


	16. Snakes, Hogsmeade, and Kissing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've decided on my endgame ship for Harry. He isn't going to get with this person for quite awhile, and will fumble around a bit before that like people do. One of my pet peeves in fiction is when everyone marries their first girlfriend or boyfriend that they started dating when they were barely old enough to have those feelings, as it's just not realistic. 
> 
> So where I'm going with this is, do people want to know what endgame is for Harry's love life, or leave it a surprise until they get together? I don't have it all planned out yet, but it will likely be sixth or seventh year at the earliest.

After leaving the hospital wing, Harry was as well as he'd been before the game. He was glad that the Dementors hadn't worsened his depression, and his mum was visibly relieved as well. In the weeks following the excitement, Harry stuck to the activities of a normal thirteen-year-old wizard. He spent time with friends, studied, and played a prank that involved charming his yearmates' robes - regardless of house - pink. Remus taught him a variation of the charm that made it resistant to  _finite incantatem_ , so many of the new outfits lasted the whole day. 

Harry also took to carrying Mehen with him around the school. In first year he'd had to leave the snake in his dorm because his Parseltongue was a secret, and he'd decided to do the same last year because of the Chamber of Secrets drama, but now there was nothing standing in his way if he wanted to show his friend more of the castle and let him hunt new grounds. Bringing Mehen out of his spelled habitat as the air was growing colder meant that Harry had to learn to do a proper warming charm, but with his mum's help and his own well-developed talent in Charms it was easy enough. Even with the warming charm Mehen usually preferred to be around Harry's neck or in his bag than on the castle's stone floors, which suited Harry fine too. 

 

About two weeks after the Quidditch game, Harry decided it was well past time he payed Gris a visit in the Chamber. He invited company, but was declined. Blaise was spending the day with their girlfriend (no longer Padma Patil, Harry noted), and Theo and Daphne were busy studying for a Potions exam. Harry considered asking his other friends, but decided that Slytherin's Chamber wasn't the best place for Ravenclaws or Gryffindors. Not that they wouldn't enjoy it - Hermione especially would be overwhelmed with the history of the place - but some things were only meant for Slytherins. Houses mattered in the wizarding world. 

Harry descended into the Chamber of Secrets alone that evening. He commanded the entrance to turn into stairs, like he had on his last visit, and moved purposefully to the main Chamber.

 _"Speak to me Slytherin, greatest of the Hogwarts four."_ Griswalde emerged from the mouth of the statue, and closed her eyes at Harry's prompting.  _"Hello, Gris. I have missed you."_

_"Hello, my Heir. I have missed your company."_

_"I'm sorry it's taken me so long to visit. I've been back at the school for a couple of months now, but things have been busy."_ He proceeded to tell her about Pettigrew, the Dementors, and the issues he'd had with depression.

_"I have seen the Dementors while I hunt. They are vile beasts."_

_"They are,"_ Harry agreed wholeheartedly. Then, he realized Mehen was poking his nose out from under Harry's robes.  _"Gris, this is Mehen. He is my familiar."_

 _"My queen,"_ Mehen seemed to preen.  _"It is an honor to meet the queen of serpents."_

Griswalde hissed in a pleased way.  _"It is a pleasure, Mehen. Do you often accompany my Heir?"_

_"Yes, now that it is safe for me in the castle, Master takes me everywhere. I guard him and offer to bite those that hurt him."_

_"You do well, little one,"_ Gris replied.

Harry couldn't tell if she really approved of Mehen's propensity for biting or if she was humoring him, but he suspected the first. Snakes were like that. The three continued talking for upwards of an hour, Lily watching on in bemusement, before Harry decided it was time to return to the common room.  _"You are well, Gris? Hunting is good and you are taken care of?"_

_"Yes, my Heir. I am well."_

_"I'm glad. I will visit again, Gris."_

_"Goodbye, my Heir."_

Having said that, Griswalde returned to the mouth of the statue to where she rested between hunts and Harry left the Chamber, filling his mum in on the contents of their discussion as they walked. 

 

The following weekend was the next Hogsmeade visit. Blaise was having lunch with their girlfriend, now identified as Susan Bones from Hufflepuff, so Theo, Daphne, and Harry went to Honeydukes without them. Harry's friends couldn't stop talking about how cute Blaise and Susan were together, which left Harry baffled. After several minutes of this, Theo noticed the blank expression on his face.

"What's wrong Harry?"

"I just don't get it."

"Don't get what?"

"Why Blaise is dating these girls. What's the appeal?"

Daphne chuckled. "Are you jealous, Harry?"

"No," Harry said honestly. "Just confused."

Daphne and Theo looked at him then. "You're telling the truth," she said surprised. The trio of Slytherins left the sweet shop and found a seat on a bench near the edge of the village while they talked. Lily decided to give the friends as much space as she could, and absorbed her attention into a nearby window display. This conversation wasn't meant to be had with mothers present.

"Er- yeah."

"What confuses you?" Theo asked.

"Just- I don't know- I don't get why Blaise wants to kiss girls." 

Daphne giggled. "Blaise wants to kiss everyone." Harry just looked more confused, so she tried to explain. "Kissing is fun, and so is going on dates. Not that I've been on any dates, but I did kiss Terry Boot over the summer. I'd like to do it again, but he's not interested."

"Kissing just seems- gross- to me," Harry admitted. "I don't see the appeal."

"Kissing does kind of look gross," Theo admitted, "but it feels nice. I kissed Tracy Davis last month, and we snogged a bit before deciding we weren't close enough to date."

The look of confused disgust on Harry's face made Daphne burst out laughing. She quickly got herself under control and looked apologetic. "I'm sorry, Harry. I shouldn't laugh at you. It's just your face was priceless." 

Harry flushed a deep red. "I just don't understand."

"Maybe you need to kiss someone to get it. It's hard to explain."

"But there's no one I want to kiss."

"I could kiss you," Daphne offered. "It doesn't have to mean anything." Harry looked hesitant, but not entirely unwilling, so she pressed on. "It'll just be a little kiss, not snogging or anything. I promise I won't push you any farther."

"O-okay," Harry agreed. The blush was back in full force, and Daphne couldn't help a giggle. She scooted closer to him on the bench, so their legs were almost touching, and leaned into him with her eyes closed. Harry looked on in shock for a moment before remembering to close his own, and just as he did their lips touched.

It was fine, he supposed. Daphne's lips moved gently against his for a few seconds, and Harry tried to respond in kind. He felt awkward.

"That was a nice kiss, Harry. I liked it," Daphne said. 

Harry looked down sheepishly. "I still don't get it. Sorry, Daphne, it's nothing against you. You're a great friend, but I just didn't particularly like it."

She smiled gently at him. "Relax, Harry. It's okay, it was just an experiment. I'm not upset that you didn't like it. Maybe you'd just prefer to kiss boys." 

Her tone was matter of fact, but the words made Harry's eyes widen dramatically. "Boys? Is that, you know, okay?"

Theo cut in then with a shrug. "Being gay is generally pretty accepted in the Wizarding world. Some pureblood families don't  _prefer_ it, because of the traditional roles of a husband and wife and such, but with the availability of blood adoption two men or two women can still have an heir. If the marriage isn't an arranged one, it's fairly common."

Harry pushed down the memories of Vernon's rants against 'homosexuals' and forced himself to stay calm. The Dursleys were terrible people, wrong about basically everything, and if he was gay then he'd deal with it. With the help of Agim, probably. Plus, Remus and his dad were together so Harry knew they'd be okay with it. "So, how do I know if I'd like kissing boys?"

"If you're not against it," Theo said, "I could kiss you."

"You like boys?"

"I like both," he replied. "I'll probably have an arranged marriage with a witch, but I can appreciate boys too."

Harry nodded, taking that in. Kissing Daphne hadn't been traumatic, and if it turned out he liked boys then kissing Theo might be good. "Just a short kiss, like with Daph?" Theo nodded. "Okay, then."

Theo moved more decisively than Daphne, who had been almost shy about it. He put a hand on Harry's cheek and pulled his friend in to meet him halfway. Harry remembered to close his eyes sooner this time, and felt his friend's slightly rougher lips against his.

It wasn't any better than kissing Daphne had been. The kiss lasted about the same amount of time, and it felt different but still didn't spark anything in Harry that would make him want to do it again. 

"What do you think, Harry?" Theo asked when he pulled away. 

Harry shrugged. "It wasn't really any different."

"Well, maybe you're just not there yet," Theo said nonchalantly. "The rest of us have only started wanting to kiss people this year, maybe you're just a late bloomer."

"Who have you had crushes on?" Daphne asked. "My first kiss was this summer, but I've had crushes on boys since I was five."

Harry was a bit surprised at that. "How do you know you have a crush on someone?" he asked.

Both of his friends looked a little surprised by the question, but Theo answered. "You want to spend time with them and get to know them, but not like a friend. You think they're cute. It's kind of a feeling thing, so it's hard to explain exactly."

"When you're little," Daphne chimed in, "you mostly just want to play with them or maybe hold their hand. I had a 'boyfriend' when I was eight and after he got over pulling my hair we held hands sometimes. It lasted a couple months."

Harry thought carefully about his childhood, trying to decide if he'd ever felt like that. "There was a girl at my primary school who I thought had pretty eyes, I guess. Does that count?"

"Maybe," said Daphne pensively. Before they could continue the conversation, Blaise and Susan came around the corner and joined them. If it had only been Blaise, Harry probably would have asked their opinion. Susan seemed nice, but she was an unknown and Harry didn't trust her with his confused feelings so he changed the subject.

 

Back at the school, Harry went immediately to the owlery to write a letter to his dad. The last time he'd brought this up, Sirius had said he'd like kissing when he tried it. Maybe now that Harry had, his dad would have other advice.

_Sirius,_

_How are you? I'm doing well, but I'm a bit confused about some things. I was hoping you could help even though it's kind of embarrassing. I wrote to you a couple of weeks ago about Blaise's girlfriend and snogging, and you said I should try it sometime. Blaise had a date in Hogsmeade today, so I was talking with Daphne and Theo about it and they were surprised how confused I was. Long story short, they both kissed me to try it and I didn't feel anything. I just don't understand what people like about it, or why people get so bent out of shape over dating. Then we started talking about crushes, and all I could remember was thinking a girl had pretty eyes when I was nine. Is that a crush? Is there something wrong with me that I don't like kissing? Daphne and Theo said I might be a late bloomer, but Daphne seemed a little odd when I told them I wasn't sure I'd ever had a crush as a kid. What if this is something the Dursleys did to me when they screwed up my childhood? Help me, please. I don't want to be broken._

_Harry_

 

Sirius' reply came the next morning. It was sympathetic, assuring Harry that he wasn't broken and that things would work out, but contained no real advice or help. It seemed like his dad was just as confused about his lack of these feelings as Harry was. Lily read the response over her son's shoulder, thinking carefully about her next step. "Baby, can I talk to you privately?" she asked.

Harry looked up at her, surprised, but nodded and took a piece of toast with him into the hallway. He found an alcove near the Great Hall where they wouldn't be disturbed. "What's going on, Mum?"

"Well," she said hesitantly, "I've been thinking about what you said to Sirius in your letter last night. I'm sorry he wasn't much help, but someone I knew as a child had a lot of the same feelings as you. He confided in me about it more than once before everything that happened, and as luck would have it he's here. Maybe he could help you."

"Are you talking about Professor Snape?" Lily nodded. "I don't know if I can talk to a professor about kissing, Mum."

"I can understand the embarrassment, baby, but he's your Head of House. He's meant to help you through things at school when your parents can't. And besides, you did live with him for a few months and you know stories from me about when he was young. You and Severus don't have as much of the distance as students usually do from their professors. I don't want to tell you exactly what he told me when we were young, since they were private conversations. He wouldn't appreciate that, and it would help you more to talk to him directly."

Harry considered that, and saw that his mum did have a point. He really did want to understand what he was feeling, but the idea of talking to Professor Snape about something like this still made him nervous. "I'll think about it," he said. Lily nodded, and the two went to Harry's first class.

 

By the end of the day, Harry had decided that getting answers was worth an uncomfortable conversation with his Head of House. He found himself knocking on Professor Snape's office almost as soon as he made the choice.

"Enter."

The professor looked up from his papers and nodded in acknowledgement when Harry moved through the door, closing it gently behind him. He stood in front of the desk. "Sir? I was having some trouble with something. It's- er- a bit personal, but Mum thought you'd be the best person to go to."

Severus looked to Lily, who was giving him a look that urged him to listen. He set aside the papers he was grading and gestured to the chair, which Harry sat down in stiffly. "What can I do for you, Mr. Potter?"

"Er- well- it's about dating."

Professor Snape raised an eyebrow. "And your mother thought I'd be helpful on the topic?"

"Let him explain, Severus," she said firmly.

Harry took a deep breath and continued. "It's just, everyone else seems to want to date people this year, and they're all talking about kissing, and I don't understand it." A look of understanding crossed Snape's face, but he didn't interrupt. "I even tried it, and I don't see why everyone is so interested in it. I tried talking to my friends and my dad, but they don't understand any more than I do. Mum said you might be able to help?"

"Indeed. Just how much did she tell you?"

"Just that you'd felt similarly sometimes. She said the conversations were private and that I'd get more out of talking to you directly than hearing it from her anyway."

"I see. So, you've discovered you have little to no interest in dating or other such activities with your peers?" Harry nodded. "What about innocent attractions?"

"Like, a crush? There was a girl with pretty eyes in my year four class at primary school. Daphne didn't seem to think that was the same, though. Is there something wrong with me?"

Professor Snape's clinical expression softened slightly. "There is nothing wrong with you, Mr. Potter, no matter what you do or do not feel. Everyone is different, some more than others, and it is a part of being human. Your mother is right that I experienced a similar dilemma when we were young, and I was not much older than you are now when it all came to a head." Harry looked hopeful. "I, too, found myself uninterested in the romantic and sexual feelings that came with puberty for my classmates."

"So, I'm not alone? I'm not broken?"

"No, Mr. Potter. Neither of us are broken. Have you ever heard of asexuality?" Harry shook his head. "I am not surprised. The term, while well established in Muggle research journals, is only just starting to become commonly known and there is even less information on the topic among the Wizarding world. Asexuality is an orientation, similar to being homosexual, heterosexual, or bisexual, characterized by a lack of attraction or desire to anyone. Does that make sense to you?"

"Yes, sir. It does."

"I myself am asexual, which is why Lily suggested you speak with me about this. Everyone experiences this slightly differently, as the same is true for any other orientation. Some asexual people experience attraction in very strict circumstances, or very rarely or weakly. Given your experience with the girl with pretty eyes, I would hazard a guess that you fall into this category. Some asexual people choose never to engage in activities such as kissing while others do for various reasons. Does this still make sense?"

"Yes, sir. Why would someone want to kiss people if they were asexual, though?"

"It is possible for desire to exist without attraction. I do not experience it this way, and it seems that you do not either at this time, but it is possible. It is also possible that someone who is asexual would find themselves with a partner who is attracted to them, and is not opposed to engaging in these acts to satisfy their partner's desires. It is not a requirement if you are uncomfortable, but it is another possibility." The professor hesitated with a cough. "It is also possibly you may one day wish to have children."

"I see. It's a little confusing, but I guess I can see it. And kissing wasn't bad, it just wasn't good either."

The professor looked mildly uncomfortable, a feeling to which Harry could relate. "Indeed. The core of it is that you may be asexual, and though it is a small portion of the population you are not the only one who feels the way you do. The exact details of your feelings are personal, and you will have to determine your desires and boundaries on your own. You should remember never to allow people, partners or otherwise, to pressure you into doing something you find unpleasant."

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."

"If you would like, I could attempt to procure you copies of the literature I've read on the topic. However, the material is quite dense and will tell you little more than we have discussed."

"No thank you, sir. I think I understand well enough."

"Very well." The professor paused. "As uncomfortable as we both are, I want you to know that if you have any more questions or difficulties you may approach me with them, Mr. Potter."

"Thank you, sir. I will."

Harry stood up, nodding a goodbye, and left the room. In the hallway outside, he looked to his mum and tested out his new knowledge.

"I'm asexual."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harry's experiences with asexuality are vaguely based on my own. Asexuality was discussed intermittently in academic journals studying sexual orientation from the '40s to the '80s. Online communities of asexuals began forming in the late '90s and 2000s, with AVEN being the main one, and the topic was first addressed in a significant way in mainstream media in the 2000s as well. Because this is taking place in 1993, Harry and Severus wouldn't have access to that yet. 
> 
> In modern terms, I would say that Harry is asexual and grayromantic, meaning he never experiences sexual attraction but very rarely experiences romantic attraction. (The girl with pretty eyes.) He is not repulsed by sex, but has no personal desire to have it. In the future, when he is old enough and finds his endgame partner, he will be willing to have sex for his partner's benefit and to have children but he still won't want to seek it out.
> 
> Severus is completely asexual and aromantic, and sex repulsed. This means that he has no attraction to others whatsoever, and the idea of having sex is a negative one for him. If he were to try, it would be a traumatic experience. He has no desire for a partner.


	17. A Black Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've finally got a functioning laptop again after a couple months without, so everyone should be seeing more updates from me! To get back in the swing of things, I've written another side piece to this series. It's called Peace, and it takes place during the summer before second year when Harry was living with Snape, so it's a bit of a flashback. 
> 
> Without further ado, I hope you enjoy the new material!

As term came to an end, Harry was practically vibrating with excitement. At first, his friends were glad for it. This was the happiest they'd seen Harry since the dementor on the train and his suicide attempt. However, after nearly a week of incessant chatter, restlessness, and several instances where Harry lost control of his hair color, they were reaching the end of their rope. 

"Harry!" Daphne snapped, "Calm down! What's gotten into you?"

Harry visibly made an effort to stop bouncing on the balls of his feet and looked down to hide his blush. "I'm sorry I'm driving you all spare. I'm just so excited to be going home for Christmas. It's my first one with a proper family and home..."

Daphne softened. "That's okay Harry. Of course you're happy, I hadn't realized how big this holiday was this year."

Harry gave her a crooked grin. "Thanks, Daph. I'll try to tone it down a bit. Two more days!" Lily chuckled. Unlike the kids, she'd never gotten tired of Harry's newfound happiness.

 

Harry only managed to be slightly more subdued for the last two days of term, but his friends were also more patient now that they knew the reason behind his child-like behavior. Before anyone knew it, it was time to get the train. 

Horrified, Harry realized Theo wasn't packing and remembered that they usually spent the holiday together at the school. Now his best friend would be alone for Christmas.

Harry pulled his best friend aside to talk privately. "I'm sorry, Theo, I was so excited that I didn't even think about you. I'm a terrible friend."

"Harry, it's okay. You deserve to spend Christmas with family for once, and staying here alone was my choice."

"I could have invited you to come with. Maybe next year we can get permission?"

Theo smiled. "That sounds great. This year should just be your family, anyways."

Harry's grin at the word family was blinding  and the two boys said goodbye before Harry had to run to the station. 

 

The train was decorated for the season, with holly and mistletoe playing host to tiny glowing fairies. Harry was enthralled, causing his friends to laugh at him. When they arrived at Platform 9 3/4, however, Harry wasted no time saying goodbye and rushing to meet Sirius. 

Harry skidded to a stop in front of his dad, dropping his trunk to throw his arms around the man in a tight hug which was immediately returned. His eyes burned, threatening tears even as he smiled brightly. When the two let go, Sirius took Harry home by side-along and Tippy immediately came to take his trunk upstairs.

Blackwood had clearly been decorated by the elves, who seemed not to care that they weren't entertaining anyone. Icicles that didn't melt hung from the bannister, while the rest of the entryway was adorned in poinsettias, holly, and more mistletoe. Sirius had charmed the mistletoe to flash silver, presumably to make it easy to avoid. Harry knew from the past two years that magical mistletoe would trap you if you weren't careful. He'd always been careful. 

A Christmas tree was decorated in red and gold in the family sitting room. Harry raised one eyebrow, but didn't say anything. When Sirius left, expecting Harry to follow him to the kitchen, Harry charmed just a few of the baubles green and silver. If he did this slowly enough, his dad might not notice until Christmas day, when Harry planned to have the whole tree changed. Before he could be missed, Harry ran to join his dad for hot chocolate. 

"When is Moony coming home?"

Sirius grinned stupidly over his mug. "Tomorrow. Few enough students stayed over that only the Heads have to stay in the castle. He just has to finish his grading tonight."

Harry was glad to hear that. Despite Remus being his Defense professor, and a really good one, Harry felt like he'd barely seen the man. Between classes, his extra studies in family lines and occlumency, and weekly therapy, Harry had barely had time to socialize at all. His Slytherin friends he saw the most, since they were always nearby. Harry tried to see his friends in other houses as often as possible, but Hermione especially seemed overly busy. Harry was fairly certain she was somehow taking overlapping classes. "Will Uncle Regulus be coming by at all?"

"Christmas Eve we will be having dinner with all of the Blacks, save Narcissa, so we'll see him then. Reggie is determined to be alone on Christmas day, maybe you can convince him he's wanted here, kiddo."

Harry grinned. "The more the merrier! I can't wait."

 

'All of the Blacks, save Narcissa' really meant the Blackwood residents, Regulus, and the Tonks family, but it sounded less impressive that way. Harry, Remus, and Sirius arrived early so that Sirius could greet the Tonks family as the Head of House. When Andromeda, Ted, and Nymphadora Tonks came through the floo in the kitchen, Sirius and Harry stood to greet them. The formalities were quickly abandoned for a more relaxed holiday demeanor.

SIrius, Regulus, Andromeda, and Ted took tea in the main sitting room while waiting for dinner to be ready, but Tonks pulled Harry into another. "Wotcher Harry. Have you been practicing morphing?"

Harry nodded. "When I've got time. Human transformations are pretty easy now. Color changes take a bit longer, but my hair hasn't changed accidentally in about six months. I haven't really practiced animal transformations."

"Well, up for a challenge?" Harry, always willing to prove himself to people he respected, quickly agreed. Tonks grinned. "Turn into me."

Harry faltered a bit. He'd practiced changing individual parts of his body often, but not all of them at once. Then, he nodded and started morphing. He started with his hair, struggling a bit to make it Tonks' shade of bright pink, before moving onto his face. His nose, ears, eyes, and chin all changed. When Harry increased his height, Tonks waved her wand and transfigured his robes to match hers. Harry blushed a bit before changing the shape of his body to reflect Tonks' mild curves. 

Tonks looked him over approvingly, then quickly morphed into Harry and transfigured her own robes. "Now, let's see if we can fool the family! Stick close to me so your mum doesn't give us away."

Harry spluttered for a moment at the idea of going out there looking like a girl, but Tonks didn't stop to listen to his protests. In the end, they were given away when Tonks-as-Harry tripped and fell and Harry-as-Tonks caught her with a seeker's grace.

Andromeda gave the two a discerning look, and Tonks laughed before cancelling the transfiguration on her robes and morphing back into herself. Harry snapped back into his own body as Tonks fixed his robes then quickly returned his hair to the slightly neater version he habitually used, envious of the older metamorphmagus' ability to easily return to her already-morphed appearance. Before Andromeda could admonish the two, Kreacher appeared and announced dinner. 

 

When pudding was finished and the table was cleared away, Harry sought out his uncle, who was seated by the fire with a glass of wine. "Hullo, Uncle Regulus!"

"Hello, Harry," he replied with a small, but genuine, smile. "Are you enjoying your first family Christmas?"

Harry grinned, both at the thought of a family Christmas and at the perfect opening. "I am. I can't wait for tomorrow. Christmas is meant for family, don't you think?"

"Indeed it is."

"I'm so glad to have family now. It's finally starting to feel real. Christmas at Hogwarts is great and all, but it's a little impersonal. What are your plans for tomorrow?"

"I haven't got many. I tend to keep to myself."

"Didn't Dad invite you over to Blackwood?"

"He did, but I thought you'd want to spend your first family Christmas with just your family."

"You are family, Uncle Regulus. Don't you think of me as family?"

Regulus looked suspicious, and Harry thought he might be laying it on a bit thick. "Of course I do, Harry. But I'm not your immediate family."

"But you said the holiday is for family, and we're the closest family you've got. I think you should come. You shouldn't be lonely on Christmas."

"You're not such a skilled manipulator, child."

"I'm only telling the truth," Harry replied with conviction. "If the truth is manipulating you into doing what I'm asking, then that only means I'm right."

Regulus nearly rolled his eyes at the unrepentant boy, but he agreed to come to Blackwood for Christmas. He'd floo back with the residents after the Tonks family left so that the rest wouldn't be waiting on him for presents the following morning.

 

Early Christmas morning Harry sat alone in the family sitting room at Blackwood Hall, where the tree and presents stood. It was odd to Harry, not having them at the foot of the bed like he did at Hogwarts, but Remus had suggested they do it this way. Harry glanced eagerly at the doorway, and Lily chuckled at her son's excitement. The third time Harry looked over, she spoke up. 

"You could probably go wake them, you know."

Harry shrugged. "Dad and Remus, sure, but I don't think I can wake up Uncle Regulus. And after I convinced him to come, it would be rude to open presents without him."

Lily nodded her assent, just before a large shaggy dog bounded into the room. He transformed back into Sirius, and was followed by Remus and Regulus shortly after.

"I'd hoped to wake you up, Pup," Sirius said with a fake pout. Given that he'd come downstairs as Padfoot, Harry thought that wake up call might have involved dog slobber.

"I've always been an early riser," he said easily. "Is it present time, yet?"

Even the usually stoic Regulus smiled warmly at Harry's attitude. Sirius called Tippy for tea, and the exchange of presents was able to begin. 

 

Harry was so lost in the family atmosphere that he hardly noticed the different gifts he received. A Firebolt from Sirius and Remus was difficult to ignore, though. He threw his arms around both of them in an exuberant thank you after unwrapping the broom. There was still a spare Nimbus 2001 in the Slytherin locker room, but the Firebolt was so much better. Plus, Harry wouldn't have been able to take the other broom home over holidays to fly with friends as Lucius Malfoy's gift had been to the team. 

After opening gifts the family retreated to Blackwood's smaller dining room for breakfast, then spent the day together reading, playing chess, and listening to the holiday specials on the Wizarding Wireless. Regulus went back to Grimmauld Place following a late lunch, thanking Sirius and Harry genuinely for including him in their day and leaving Blackwood's residents to discuss other things.

"So, Pup," Sirius began. "Remus and I were thinking of a small wedding in the gardens here in June. I'd like to do it on the solstice, but we're still deciding if it's too close to the full moon."

"I've told you, Sirius, the solstice will be fine," Remus said with the good-natured tone of someone who had been worried over unnecessarily. "Better before the moon than after it."

"I know you've said it, but letters and floo aren't as good as an in-person conversation. You're really sure? It's only two days."

"I'm sure, Pads. The strength of the sun on the solstice will ward off some of the moon symptoms, and it's a good day for it."

"Well, it's settled, then." Sirius turned back to Harry. "We're having a small wedding on the solstice, and you're welcome to invite your friends. Just let us know within a month or so who's coming so we can prepare."

Harry grinned, happy that his dad and Remus were so obviously happy together. "I'll ask a couple of people. Who are you two inviting?"

"The family, including Narcissa. The Head of House's marriage is a big deal, and it would be like disowning her if she wasn't invited. Unfortunately, that means her husband too. How do you get along with her son?"

Harry shrugged, and Remus chuckled. "We get along okay. There was some tension between us at first, but after we both joined the Quidditch team last year we've tolerated each other better. We still aren't friends, though."

"Alright. It shouldn't be too much of a hardship to have him at the wedding, then. We're also inviting the whole Weasley family, so feel free to ask the kids that go to school with you but they'll likely be there anyway. A couple of my fellow aurors." Sirius paused. "Remus here thinks we should invite Snape, but that's not settled, yet."

"He's been good to Harry, mended fences with Lily, and you've been tolerating him better since getting out of the hospital," Remus chimed in. "Plus, he might be able to keep the Malfoys more occupied. I think it's a good idea."

"Fine. So that's Regulus, the Tonks family, the Malfoy family, the Weasley family, Snape, a couple of aurors, and whoever Harry invites. That's plenty of people for a small wedding, I think."

"What's a wizarding wedding like?" Harry asked. "Mum's told me about hers and my father's," he looked at Lily, "but didn't you say you also mixed in some muggle traditions you liked?"

Lily smiled sweetly. "I did. And I'm not exactly an expert on the subject, since my own wedding was the only magical one I had the chance to go to. Frank and Alice only had family present because of the war."

"Well," Sirius said, "it depends on the situations a bit. A magical wedding can happen with or without a magical bond, and there's different types of bondings too. Some are dependent on emotion, like the one Remus and I chose, and others aren't. Those are usually used when a couple in an arranged marriage chooses to use a magical bond. Some bonds are exclusive, and others aren't. Then there's the levels of snobbery. Usually, a Head of House's wedding would be large and extravagant. Remus and I decided to do something smaller because of our unusual circumstances, but it's probably going to be seen as _unbecoming_ by, say, the Malfoys. The wedding itself is simple. Ceremonial robes are worn, and vows are made in front of an officiant. But when there's a magical bond, the vows are truly binding. And once you have a bond, there's no such thing as divorce."

Harry nodded through his dad's explanation, trying to imagine what the ceremony in June would be like. He then turned to Remus, who had taken the lull in the conversation as a cue to return to his book. "I feel like I've barely seen you this year, Remus. It's odd. I should be seeing you more, since you're at the school."

Remus looked up and smiled warmly. "You had a busy term, Harry. I don't blame you for it. My office is always open to you for tea, however."

"I'll try to come by more. I should have come to see you on Halloween..."

"It really is okay, Harry. It's nice of you to think of me, but you  _are_ only thirteen. You don't have to be on top of things all the time."

Harry nodded, his worries appeased. "You know, with you and Dad getting married, that should almost make you my dad too. I'm kind of collecting at this point."

"You could see it that way," Remus replied with a chuckle. 

"I don't know if I'll ever think of you like that, though." Harry said absent-mindedly, before widening his eyes dramatically. "Not because I don't love you! You're family! I just, you know, I think of you as Remus, or as Uncle Moony, and I already have for so long, that-"

"I understand, Harry. You haven't offended me." The sincerity in his eyes calmed Harry's nerves. "Besides, if James is your father and Sirius is your dad, what could you even call me?"

"Pops," Sirius chimed in. Everyone laughed, then spent the next few minutes trying to come up with ridiculous parental titles for Remus. It was a wonderful Christmas.


	18. Returns

Harry went back to Hogwarts after Christmas a day early with Remus, feeling content. Theo was glad to see him back in the Slytherin common room, having had a rather lonely holiday. The two greeted their other friends at the train with smiles on their faces. 

 

Harry had made significant progress with his occlumency meditations while at Blackwood, and started his sessions with Professor Snape right after returning to the school. Each Sunday afternoon, the two met for an hour so that Professor Snape could Harry's mental shields. The work was exhausting and headache inducing, but the professor was as gentle as he could be while remaining effective when he entered Harry's mind, and always had a pain relieving potion ready at the end of the lesson. Finding the balance between a thoughts and memories that Harry would be motivated to shield from the professor and ones that were too personal was a challenge. At first, Professor Snape targeted the memories that the Dementors brought up. That quickly proved to be too emotional for both parties - the professor was horrified to realize how clearly Harry remembered Lily's death under magical influence - and they moved on to other things after taking some time to collect themselves from the experience. Lily comforted Harry with her presence, allowing Harry to recover quickly.

True to his word, Harry also made more effort to visit Remus in his office. He quickly developed a habit of going to the Defense office for tea after his occlumency lessons. Remus was a quiet comfort while Harry recovered enough to return to the common room. The two chatted, or Remus helped Harry with his essays. On the few days when Harry was too tired for much else, he was able to quietly drink his tea while Lily and Remus conversed around him. 

Quidditch practices grew more intense as Flint worked hard to get the team ready for matches to resume with the better weather. Between practice, homework, his regular sessions with his Mind Healer (which were being cut back down to monthly sessions after the holidays), tutoring in Magical Theory and Black family duties, and regular visits with Professors Snape and Lupin, Harry barely had time to breathe. He was handling it well, though, and Lily was glad to see he seemed to be happy through it all. That was the most important thing. 

 

Ron had gotten an owl for Christmas - clearly the Weasley family felt bad that his pet had actually been a Death Eater, since his older brothers usually had to be made prefect to get a gift like that. No one could argue that was unreasonable - Ron had been letting Scabbers-who-was-actually-Pettigrew sleep in his bed for two years. It was lucky he wasn't traumatized. The owl's name was Pigwidgeon - Ginny's unfortunate doing - so Ron called the tiny, hyperactive thing Pig for short. 

 

Slytherin's first match of the term was against Hufflepuff. The weather was good - a bit windy, but perfectly serviceable. Harry and Cedric Diggory kept close pace to each other. Lee Jordan's commentary focused heavily on Harry's new Firebolt until a sharp reprimand from McGonagall reminded him to stay on topic. It took quite awhile to spot the snitch, but in the end Diggory's tactic of tailing Harry came back to bite him. His broom just couldn't keep up with Harry's as they both gave chase, and Harry caught the little golden ball to give Slytherin the win 230-60. 

The party in the Slytherin common room ran late, and it was near one in the morning when Harry finally went to bed. Before going to sleep, he checked the Marauder's Map as had become habit, and spotted the one person he'd hoped not to see.

"Mum," he said, voice tight with anxiety, "He's back. Pettigrew is in the castle again."

"Invisibility cloak. Professor Snape, now. And give him the Map this time." Lily's voice was no less worried than her son's.

Harry nodded, and downed a calming draught as he pulled his cloak over himself. The walk to Professor Snape's quarters seemed impossibly long, but once Harry was there he wasted no time in shoving the Marauder's Map into his professor's hands and explaining the situation. Professor Snape took it and sent him back to the common room - they'd practically alerted Pettigrew to their search by gathering everyone in the Great Hall on Halloween, and they wouldn't lose another chance to capture him.

 

Theo had been terribly confused when he came out of the bathroom to see Harry disappear under his cloak without a word, but when Harry told him what was going on he went pale. The two boys got Blaise from their room, who got Daphne from hers, and the four friends and Lily sat awake in the Slytherin common room to wait for news. No one spoke, but Harry was glad to be surrounded by people who cared about him as he fretted.

Meanwhile, Professor Snape alerted the Headmaster and the rest of the professors. With the use of the Marauder's Map, they were able to corner Peter Pettigrew on the seventh floor near the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy. It was Remus who spotted the rat and stunned him. After forcing him back into human form to verify that it was, in fact, Pettigrew and not an actual rat, the aurors were called. 

It was four in the morning when Professor Snape returned the Marauder's Map to Harry and told him of Pettigrew's capture. Luckily, the next day was Sunday and there was no reason anyone had to be awake for breakfast. Fudge had arrived not long after the auror team. He had advocated for giving Pettigrew the Dementor's kiss that night, but one of the aurors had pointed out the miscarriage of justice that had led to Sirius Black being imprisoned as an innocent man. The Dark Mark visible on Pettigrew's arm was damning, but Fudge wasn't about to risk the damage to his reputation if some misunderstanding had happened. 

 

An announcement was made at lunch the next day that the dementors would be returning to Azkaban that night. Peter Pettigrew was in a specially-warded holding cell to ensure he couldn't escape as a rat once again. This news was met with eardrum-shattering cheers - not one person in the school had enjoyed the presence of the Azkaban guards. Lily could have cried if she were able, she was so relieved that both threats to her son's safety were finally taken care of.

Pettigrew's trial was scheduled in two weeks, and Harry had already been told by Professor Snape that he would have permission to attend with Remus and Sirius if he so chose. Harry knew he would. He and his mum both deserved the closure of seeing Peter Pettigrew convicted and sentenced for his crimes, and he wanted to be with Remus and Sirius when they saw it too. 


	19. Another Trial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter tonight, so make sure you don't skip the previous one by accident! Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it! Apparently I am a small child who can't sleep on Christmas Eve, hence the double update.

If Harry was tense in the two weeks leading up to Peter Pettigrew's trial, the adults in his life were doubly so. The traitor had escaped justice for his crime twice - first when he faked his own death and again when he escaped the auror's at the Burrow - and no one would feel sure he wouldn't do it again until he was behind bars. 

 

Remus took Harry to the Ministry of Magic by portkey - Headmaster Dumbledore having gone earlier that day to fulfill his role of Chief Warlock. Taking a seat in the courtroom gave Harry flashbacks to Sirius' trial in his first year - sitting with his Mum, Remus, and Regulus as the Wizengamot arranged themselves. The addition of Sirius was comforting, even as the atmosphere between the family members was vastly different. 

Peter Pettigrew was brought into the room by the aurors and chained to the defendant's chair as he fidgeted nervously. He was a very rat-like man. Harry wanted to ask if he'd always looked like that or if it was a side-effect of spending twelve years almost constantly in his animagus form, but everyone was so quiet that speaking would have felt wrong.

A Wizengamot member in official robes stood and read from a scroll. "Peter Pettigrew stands accused today of Death Eater activities, including delivering the Potter family to You-Know-Who on 31st October 1981, as well as the murder of twelve muggles on 1st November 1981 and violation of the International Statute of Secrecy on 1st November 1981. How do you plead?"

Pettigrew's eyes landed on Remus, Sirius, and Lily in the seats. In a small voice, he replied "Not Guilty." Sirius' hand tightened in a fist.

Regulus spoke as the first witness.

"State your name."

"Regulus Arcturus Black."

"Relationship to the accused?"

"We attended school at the same time, where he was a friend of my older brother, and I came into contact with him more directly during the war."

"State your case."

"On 7th November 1981, I was tried as a Death Eater and found innocent on grounds that I acted as a spy for the Ministry and provided information to the DMLE from the beginning of my time with You-Know-Who. Sinc then, I have testified in every Death Eater trial." Harry remembered his Uncle Regulus opening his speech the same way at Sirius' trial, the first time he'd met the man, and assumed he had to remind the Wizengamot of this detail every time he testified. "While I spied on You-Know-Who, it was well-known among the Death Eaters that there was a member spying on Albus Dumbledore and his associates. I was able to identify Peter Pettigrew as this spy during meetings, and reported shortly before the death of the Potters that he had made plans directly with You-Know-Who to attack who was then identified as a 'potential prophecy child'. Peter Pettigrew was included on the list of positively identified Death Eaters I submitted to the DMLE on the 31st October, 1981, but not investigated further due to his presumed death."

"You are dismissed."

Regulus nodded and returned to the stand. The Wizengamot official then called for the arresting auror to testify.

"Next witness, state your name."

"Auror John Dawlish."

"Relationship to the accused?"

"Arresting officer."

"Please describe the scene you were called to on 27 February 1994."

"Certainly. Just past two a.m. on the 27th of February, myself and my partner were called to Hogwarts as the overnight shift for the aurors. The Hogwarts staff had apprehended Peter Pettigrew in his animagus form within the castle using a unique tracking method and had him stunned in the Headmaster's office. A brief onsite questioning confirmed Pettigrew's identity, and that according to him he was there on You-Know-Who's orders. Pettigrew was nearly incoherent at the time, so no clarification was possible. Pettigrew was transferred to a warded holding cell on the orders of Minister Fudge at 3:30 a.m."

"Thank you Auror Dawlish, dismissed."

The Wizengamot official then allowed for any other witnesses to speak, but none did. Pettigrew sweated nervously as a healer approached him with a vial of potion. "This is Veritaserum. Do you know what it does?" the healer asked Pettigrew.

"T-truth potion."

"Do you consent to take veritaserum for your interrogation?"

Pettigrew visibly hesitated. He looked again to the group of people who had once been his friends, as if he thought they may take pity on him. The realization that he wouldn't be saved seemed to hit him then, and he sagged. He nodded his consent, and opened his mouth reluctantly for the administration of the potion."

"What is your name?"

"Peter John Pettigrew," he said without inflection.

"When were you born?"

"5th May 1960."

"Were you the Secret-Keeper for the fidelius charm protecting the Potters?"

"Yes."

"Did you give You-Know-Who information about the Potter family's measures going into hiding?"

"Yes."

"Did you do so willingly?"

"Yes."

"Were you ever a Death Eater?"

"Yes."

"When did you become a Death Eater?"

"May 1980."

"Did you duel with Sirius Black on 1st November 1981?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"He confronted me following the deaths of the Potters."

 

"Did you cast the spell that killed the twelve muggle onlookers?"

"Yes."

"Were you in Hogwarts this school year on orders from You-Know-Who?"

"Yes."

"What were those orders?"

"To retrieve an artifact belonging to the Dark Lord to aid in his return to power." A murmur washed over the assembled witches and wizards then, some in fear and others in disbelief. The interrogator waited for quiet before continuing.

"When were those orders given to you?"

"3rd September 1993." This garnered an even larger response, forcing Chief Warlock Dumbledore to call for silence. Fudge was pale as a sheet.

"Healer, administer the antidote." The healer stepped forward again, gave Pettigrew another potion, and his expression cleared briefly before showing utter defeat. "The Wizengamot will now vote." Moments later, the questioner spoke again. "On the charges of Death Eater activities, the murder of twelve muggles, and the breach of the International Statute of Secrecy, Peter Pettigrew is found guilty by majority. For these crimes, Peter Pettigrew will be sentenced to life in Azkaban in a top security cell. This hearing of the Wizengamot is now adjourned."

 

Aurors led Peter Pettigrew out of the courtroom as Sirus and Remus embraced. Sirius tried to clutch Lily's hands in celebration, but passed through them before giving her an awkward look. The discomfort was brief before it was once again overtake by the relief and joy at finally having closure for the small family. Even Regulus broke his public face to congratulate his brother and friends. As a whole, the group decided to go to lunch to celebrate before Harry, Lily, and Remus had to return to Hogwarts. 


	20. Year's Close

The rest of term passed blessedly uneventfully. Harry's friends were all incredibly happy for him and his family at the news of Pettigrew's conviction. Harry was able to pass the news on to Sirius that all of his friends - Blaise, Daphne, Theo, Hermione, and Neville - would be able to attend the wedding on the solstice. Harry also continued his occlumency lessons with Professor Snape despite the absence of the dementors, as the professor refused to leave the job half finished. 

Harry was no less busy than he had been before Pettigrew's arrest and trial, but he was more relaxed as he went about his days. The oppressive aura caused by the dementors had finally dissipated from the school, and everyone was more cheerful as a result. Even the fast-approaching exams didn't seem like an ordeal to the students who were now free to study and socialize in peace. 

 

Harry's exams all went well. Harry aced arithmancy and ancient runes, and Tony deemed him far enough along in his magical theory studies that he could take the summer off tutoring. The obstacle course that Remus put together for the defense exam was especially interesting, and Harry was able to dispel his boggart with much more success than he'd had at the beginning of the year. The vision of Sirius telling him he was unwanted transformed into his dad laughing about a prank they'd pulled together, and Remus was so proud that he broke his 'professor' face he'd been careful to use with Harry in classes to pull the boy into a hug. The only class Harry didn't do well in was history, but he wasn't concerned since he knew Professor Binns' class wasn't a good predictor of his OWL scores. He still had two more years to study independently before the class would matter.

 

The only dark spot on the end of the year was when word got out somehow that Remus was a werewolf and he was forced to resign. Harry and his friends wanted to protest the situation - Remus was easily the best professor they'd had in defense and didn't deserve to be dismissed over it - but Remus assured them that he was okay with resigning. With Peter behind bars and his own wedding fast approaching, he would enjoy spending time at Blackwood Hall doing his own research again. That didn't stop Harry from being a little bitter about the situation. While he hadn't taken full advantage of the opportunity first term, he'd really enjoyed having Remus available for regular tea during the school year. 

The source of the leak was unknown - Remus suspected a sixth or seventh year student had worked it out and told their parents or friends, and news had spread from there. Harry asked Professor Snape in private if he'd had anything to do with it. His Head of House and his guardians got along alright now, but Harry knew about the old animosity there and they still weren't what anyone would call friendly. The professor denied it, however, and Harry was inclined to believe him. 

 

Slytherin won the Quidditch cup and the House cup, and Harry rode the train home with his friends while Remus finished packing his office and quarters to floo home the next day. With a wedding and the World Cup to look forward to that summer, life was good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for year three! This chapter was super short, but I didn't want to include it in the same chapter as the trial since that was a major event and this is something of a summary. With the main antagonist of the year gone, there isn't much to say. It was touch and go for a bit there, as I wasn't entirely certain how much of Wormtail's motivations I wanted to reveal and if I wanted him to escape justice for a third time. 
> 
> Book 4 will be coming out soon. (Maybe even today, honestly.) It's another one I went back and forth on for a long time - I actually had two completely different plots thought out based on whether I wanted Harry to get out of participating in the Tournament or not. Which have I chosen? You will see soon enough. If you aren't already subscribed to the WTJWD-verse series, I recommend you do so! That way you'll know as soon as I post Book 4, and you won't miss out on any of the side stories to this universe that I post!


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